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Assorted Laughs Date: Sent Thursday, October 21, 1999 Category: None

Rating: 3.90/5 (110 votes) Click a button to cast your vote

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When I had my day care, I used to hear the cutest things from the kids I took care of. Here are a few.

A three year old had new shoes, and they were a little too big for her, making it hard to get around. She described the situation with the shoes quite well one day when she bounced in the door. She said, Sharrie Look! Today I have on my "Tripping" shoes.

One little guy was always wanting to help take care of the babies, but he didn't like it when they cried. He wanted me to put the pacifier in the baby's mouth to quiet her down. He said, Sharrie where's the "Babyfier?"

One little boy wanted his pencil sharpened. He came to me and said, Sharrie will you "Shorten my pencil." Actually, he was more right then wrong. LOL.

Received from (and apparently written by) Sharrie.

-=+=-

A golfer stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity. Looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind speed and direction; it was driving his partner nuts. Finally his exasperated partner said, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!"

The guy answered, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."

"Forget it, man." the partner responded, "You'll never hit her from here!"

Received from Cad Griffin.

-=+=-

A pious man, who had reached the age of 105, suddenly stopped going to synagogue.

Alarmed by the old fellow's absence after so many years of faithful attendance, the Rabbi went to see him. He found him in excellent health, so the Rabbi asked, "How come after all these years we don't see you at services anymore?"

The old man lowered his voice. "I'll tell you, Rabbi," he whispered. "When I got to be 90, I expected God to take me any day. But then I got to be 95, then 100, then 105. So, I figured that God is very busy and must've forgotten about me, and I don't want to remind Him!"

Received from Roger AAC Cooper.