John lived across the river from his backwoods neighbor, Clarence, and the two feuded constantly. They never missed a chance to throw rocks and yell insults over the water.

One day the Army Corps of Engineers came to build a bridge. John was elated and told his wife he was finally going to get his hands on Clarence.

When the bridge was finished, John headed off, but he returned a few minutes later. "I never realized how big that guy is," John said sheepishly to his wife. "I headed for the bridge, and then I saw the sign: 'Clarence - 8 feet, 4 inches.'"

Received from Stan Kegel.

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