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<DIV>That's good Frank and so true.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Dave</DIV>
<DIV><FONT size=2></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV> If you're under 40, your time is coming</DIV>
<BLOCKQUOTE
style="PADDING-RIGHT: 0px; PADDING-LEFT: 5px; MARGIN-LEFT: 5px; BORDER-LEFT: #000000 2px solid; MARGIN-RIGHT: 0px">
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial">----- Original Message ----- </DIV>
<DIV
style="BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4; FONT: 10pt arial; font-color: black"><B>From:</B>
<A title=gcfl-discuss@gcfl.net
href="mailto:gcfl-discuss@gcfl.net">gcfl-discuss@gcfl.net</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>To:</B> <A title=sdmheit@verizon.net
href="mailto:sdmheit@verizon.net">Shirley Heit</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Cc:</B> <A title=gcfl-discuss@gcfl.net
href="mailto:gcfl-discuss@gcfl.net">Discussion of the Good, Clean Funnies
List</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Sent:</B> Sunday, March 21, 2004 8:54
PM</DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Subject:</B> [GCFL-discuss] Ageing</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV>
<DIV class=RTE>
<P>Dave</P>
<P>I think this is for you and me. (and any other upper-middle aged
folks out there.) The rest of you might get an idea of what's
coming!</P>
<P>Frank<BR><BR></P></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>
<DIV></DIV>SURE SIGNS OF AGING:
<DIV></DIV>>
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > 1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > 2. In a hostage situation you are likely to
be released first.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > 3. No one expects you to run a marathon.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > 4. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > 5. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > 6. Things you buy now won't wear out.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > 7. You can live without sex but not without glasses.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > 8. You get into heated arguments about pension
plans.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > 9. You have a party and the neighbors don't even
realize it.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > 10. You no longer think of speed limits as a
challenge.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > 11. Your investment in health insurance is finally
beginning to pay
<DIV></DIV>>off.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > 12. Your secrets are safe with your friends because
they can't remember
<DIV></DIV>>
<DIV></DIV>>them either.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > 13. You can't remember who sent you this list.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > Chapter 2: GAMES FOR WHEN YOU ARE OLDER
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > 1. Sag, You're it.
<DIV></DIV>> > > 2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy.
<DIV></DIV>> > > 3. 20 questions shouted into your good ear.
<DIV></DIV>> > > 4. Kick the bucket.
<DIV></DIV>> > > 5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over.
<DIV></DIV>> > > 6. Doc, Doc, Goose.
<DIV></DIV>> > > 7. Simon says something incoherent.
<DIV></DIV>> > > 8. Hide and go pee.
<DIV></DIV>> > > 9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta.
<DIV></DIV>> > > 10. Musical recliners.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > Chapter 3: SIGNS OF MENOPAUSE
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > 1. You sell your home heating system at a yard sale.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > 2. Your husband jokes that instead of buying a wood
stove, he is using
<DIV></DIV>>
you to heat the family room this winter. Rather than just
<DIV></DIV>>saying
<DIV></DIV>>you are
<DIV></DIV>>
not amused, you shoot him.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > 3. You have to write post-it notes with your kids'
names on them.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > 4. The Phenobarbital dose that wiped out the
Heaven's Gate Cult
<DIV></DIV>>
gives you four hours of decent rest.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > 5. You change your underwear after every sneeze.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > 6. You're on so much estrogen that you take your
Brownie troop
<DIV></DIV>>
on a field trip to Chippendale's.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > Chapter 4: SIGNS OF WEAR
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > "OLD" IS WHEN..... Your sweetie says, "Let's go up
stairs and make
<DIV></DIV>> love,"and
you answer, "Pick one, I can't do both!"
<DIV></DIV>> > > "OLD" IS WHEN..... Your friends compliment you on
your new
<DIV></DIV>> alligator
shoes, and you're barefoot.
<DIV></DIV>> > > "OLD" IS WHEN..... A sexy babe catches your fancy
and your
<DIV></DIV>> pacemaker
opens the garage door.
<DIV></DIV>> > > "OLD" IS WHEN..... Going braless pulls all the
wrinkles out of your
<DIV></DIV>>face.
<DIV></DIV>> > > "OLD" IS WHEN..... You don't care where your spouse
goes,
<DIV></DIV>>
just as long as you don't have to go along.
<DIV></DIV>> > > "OLD" IS WHEN..... You are cautioned to slow down by
<DIV></DIV>> > > the doctor instead of by the police.
<DIV></DIV>> > > "OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting a little action" means I
<DIV></DIV>> > > don't need to take any fiber today.
<DIV></DIV>> > > "OLD" IS WHEN..... "Getting lucky" means you find
your
<DIV></DIV>> > > car in the parking lot.
<DIV></DIV>> > > "OLD" IS WHEN..... An "all-nighter" means not
getting up to pee.
<DIV></DIV>> > >
<DIV></DIV>> > > If you're under 40, this may be amusing.
<DIV></DIV>> > > If you're over 40, this is probably reality.
<DIV></DIV></DIV><BR clear=all>
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