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<DIV><FONT face=Verdana color=#622152 size=4><B>Last week I stated this woman
was the ugliest woman I had ever seen.<BR>I have since been visited by her
sister.<BR>and now wish to withdraw that statement.<I><BR>~Mark
Twain</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#800080 size=2><BR></FONT><FONT
face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>The secret of a good sermon is to have
a good beginning and a good ending;<BR>and have the two as close together as
possible.<I><BR>~George Burns</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#1b588c
size=2><BR></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>Santa Claus has
the right idea ...<BR>visit people only once a year.<I><BR>~Victor
Borge</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#1b588c size=2><BR></FONT><FONT
face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>Be careful about reading health
books.<BR>You may die of a misprint.<I><BR>~Mark Twain</I></B></FONT><FONT
face=Verdana color=#1b588c size=2><BR></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333
size=4><B><BR>What would men be without women?<BR>Scarce, sir ... mighty
scarce.<I><BR>~Mark Twain</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#1b588c
size=2><BR></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>By all means
marry.<BR>If you get a good wife, you'll become happy;<BR>if you get a bad one,
you'll become a philosopher.<I><BR>~Socrates</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana
color=#1b588c size=2><BR></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>I
was married by a judge.<BR>I should have asked for a jury.<I><BR>~Groucho
Marx</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#1b588c size=2><BR></FONT><FONT
face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>My wife has a slight impediment in her
speech.<BR>Every now and then she stops to breathe.<I><BR>~Jimmy
Durante</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#1b588c size=2><BR></FONT><FONT
face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>The male is a domestic animal which, if
treated with firmness and kindness,<BR>can be trained to do most
things.<I><BR>~Jilly Cooper</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#1b588c
size=2><BR></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>I never hated a
man enough to give his diamonds back.<I><BR>~Zsa Zsa Gabor</I></B></FONT><FONT
face=Verdana color=#1b588c size=2><BR></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333
size=4><B><BR>Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential
food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.<I><BR>~Alex
Levine</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#1b588c size=2><BR></FONT><FONT
face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>Don't go around saying the world owes
you a living.<BR>The world owes you nothing.<BR>It was here first.<I><BR>~Mark
Twain</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#1b588c size=2><BR></FONT><FONT
face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>My luck is so bad that if I bought a
cemetery, people would stop dying.<I><BR>~Ed Furgol</I></B></FONT><FONT
face=Verdana color=#1b588c size=2><BR></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333
size=4><B><BR>Money can't buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more
pleasant form of misery.<I><BR>~Spike Milligan</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana
color=#1b588c size=2><BR></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333
size=4><B><BR>What's the use of happiness?<BR>It can't buy you
money.<I><BR>~Henny Youngman</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#1b588c
size=2><BR></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>I am opposed to
millionaires, but it would be dangerous to offer me the position.<I><BR>~Mark
Twain</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#1b588c size=2><BR></FONT><FONT
face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>Until I was thirteen, I thought my name
was 'shut up.'<I><BR>~Joe Namath</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#1b588c
size=2><BR></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>Youth would be
an ideal state if it came a little later in life.<I><BR>~Herbert Henry
Asquith</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#1b588c size=2><BR></FONT><FONT
face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>I don't feel old.<BR>I don't feel
anything until noon.<BR>Then it's time for my nap.<I><BR>~Bob
Hope</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#1b588c size=2><BR></FONT><FONT
face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>A woman drove me to drink ... and I
hadn't even the courtesy to thank her.<I><BR>~W.C. Fields</I></B></FONT><FONT
face=Verdana color=#1b588c size=2><BR></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333
size=4><B><BR>I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do
in it.<I><BR>~W.C. Fields</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#1b588c
size=2><BR></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>It takes only
one drink to get me drunk.<BR>The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the
thirteenth or the fourteenth.<I><BR>~George Burns</I></B></FONT><FONT
face=Verdana color=#1b588c size=2><BR></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333
size=4><B><BR>We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work
its way through Congress.<BR>~Unknown</B><BR><B><BR>Don't worry about avoiding
temptation...As you grow older, it will avoid
you.<I><BR>~Unknown</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#1b588c
size=2><BR></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>Maybe it's true
that life begins at fifty. But ... everything else starts to wear out, fall out,
or spread out.<I><BR>~Unknown</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#1b588c
size=2><BR></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>Doctor to
patient:<BR>I have good news and bad news.<BR>The good news is that you are not
a hypochondriac.<I><BR>~Unknown</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#1b588c
size=2><BR></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>The
cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good ... spit it
out.<I><BR>~Unknown</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#1b588c
size=4><B><BR><BR></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>By
the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go
anywhere.<I><BR>~Unknown</I></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#1b588c
size=4><B><BR></B></FONT><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4><B><BR>It's
hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember
anything.<I><BR>~Unknown</I></B></FONT> </DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><EM><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333
size=4></FONT></EM></STRONG> </DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><EM><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333 size=4>
<P><FONT face="Kaufmann Bd BT" size=5>greenBubble</FONT>
</P></FONT></EM></STRONG></DIV>
<DIV><STRONG><EM><FONT face=Verdana color=#663333
size=4></FONT></EM></STRONG> </DIV><FONT face=Arial color=#0000ff>
<P><SPAN class=108512216-03122004>PS I make no guaranties that these people
actually said these quotes.</SPAN></P></FONT></BODY></HTML>
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