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<DIV><FONT face="Comic Sans MS"><FONT color=#000080 size=2>Is
this from the very good book titled The Transitive Vampire : A
Handbook of Grammar for the Innocent, the Eager and the Doomed? It sounds
like something from there. It is one of my all-time favorite books.
Karen Elizabeth Gordon has several books on the English language that in a
humorous way teach you the rights and wrongs of English
grammar.</FONT></FONT></DIV>
<DIV>Jeanene<BR>A child born with Hydranencephaly is one of Life's Little
Miracles.<BR>They live, laugh, and love -- all without a brain.<BR><A
href="http://www.hydranencephaly.com">www.hydranencephaly.com</A> </DIV>
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<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial">----- Original Message ----- </DIV>
<DIV
style="BACKGROUND: #e4e4e4; FONT: 10pt arial; font-color: black"><B>From:</B>
<A title=gcfl-discuss@gcfl.net href="mailto:gcfl-discuss@gcfl.net">Discussion
of the Good, Clean Funnies List</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>To:</B> <A title=jeanenehea@comcast.net
href="mailto:jeanenehea@comcast.net">Red</A> </DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Sent:</B> Saturday, July 01, 2006 8:00
PM</DIV>
<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"><B>Subject:</B> [GCFL-discuss] The Rules of
Grammar</DIV>
<DIV><BR></DIV>
<DIV><FONT face=Arial>
<DIV align=left><FONT face="Comic Sans MS"><U>Here's another one for you
Siarlys</U></FONT></DIV>
<DIV align=left><U><FONT face="Comic Sans MS">Frank</FONT></U></DIV>
<OL>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>Verbs
has to agree with their subjects</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank
name=1>Prepositions are not words to end sentences with</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>And
don't start a sentence with a conjunction</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>It is
wrong to ever split an infinitive</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>Avoid
clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>Also,
always avoid annoying a</A></FONT><A target=_blank name=1><FONT
color=#003399>ssonance</FONT></A><FONT color=#ff0000>*</FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>Be more
or less specific</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank
name=1>Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually)
unnecessary</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>Also
too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>No
sentence fragments</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank
name=1>Contractions aren't necessary and shouldn't be used</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>Foreign
words and phrases are not apropos</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>Do not
be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly
superfluous</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>One
should never generalise</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank
name=1>Comparisons are as bad as clichés</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>Don't
use no double negatives forever</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>Eschew
ampersands & abbreviations, etc</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank
name=1>One-word sentences? Eliminate</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank
name=1>Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>The
passive voice is to be ignored</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank
name=1>Eliminate commas, that are, not necessary. Parenthetical words
however should be enclosed in commas</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>Never
use a big word when a diminutive one would suffice</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS"><A target=_blank name=1><FONT
color=#003399>Kill all exclamation marks!!!</FONT></A>!</FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>Use
words correctly, irregardless of how others use them</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank
name=1>Understatement is always the absolute best way to put forth
earthshaking ideas</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>Use the
apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank
name=1>Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate
quotations. Tell me what you know."</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>If
you've heard it once, you've heard it a thousand times: "Resist hyperbole;
not one writer in a million can use it correctly."</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>Puns
are for children, not groan readers</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>Go
around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>Even IF
a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank name=1>Who
needs rhetorical questions?</A></FONT>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS"><A target=_blank name=1><FONT
color=#003399>Exaggeration is a billion times worse than
understatement</FONT></A><BR><A target=_blank name=1><BR><FONT
color=#003399>And finally...</FONT></A></FONT><BR>
<LI><FONT face="Comic Sans MS" color=#003399><A target=_blank
name=1>Proofread carefully to see if you any words out</A></FONT>
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