Cool cool, thank you for the input Green.<br><br>~Lance<br><br><div class="gmail_quote">On Tue, Nov 10, 2009 at 9:25 PM, Discussion of the Good, Clean Funnies List <span dir="ltr"><<a href="mailto:gcfl-discuss@gcfl.net">gcfl-discuss@gcfl.net</a>></span> wrote:<br>
<blockquote class="gmail_quote" style="border-left: 1px solid rgb(204, 204, 204); margin: 0pt 0pt 0pt 0.8ex; padding-left: 1ex;">
<div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span>Jeanene</span></font></div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span>When I saw your email, I did not realize it was a
response to Siarlys' email; i thought he sent it again, but i was too polite to
say so.</span></font></div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span></span></font> </div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span>Ok. with tongue firmly in cheek, I'm ready to
respond.</span></font></div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span></span></font> </div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span>greenBubble</span></font></div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span></span></font> </div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span>As a born and bred Northener, having always lived
in NYC (except 2.5 years studying abroad) i didn't find the joke funny, just as
most "rednecks" probably don't see the humor in Redneck
jokes.</span></font></div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span></span></font> </div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span>A pocketbook is that gigantic holdall that women
carry over their shoulder. A purse, carried inside the pocketbook, is a
smaller pouch where they keep money, credit cards, etc., that they actually
need to be able to find quickly. Anything loose in the pocketbook is lost
until she spills all its contents onto the table and puts them back one by
one. (like the card game "52-pickup")</span></font></div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span></span></font> </div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span>Of course we don't barbecue during the winter;
barbecuing is a summer tradition so the house doesn't get hotter than it
is. As a verb, barbecue is spelled as it's pronounced. As a noun or
adjective, it is spelled "BBQ". </span></font></div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span></span></font> </div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span>Personally, i can't stand ketchup, but ketchup has
saved many a marriage. Recognizing that I don't like ketchup, G-d, in His
wisdom, sent me a wife who knows how to cook.</span></font></div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span></span></font> </div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span>I would buy produce from the vendor on the street, and
wash it well, but prepared foods, generally not. Very few of those
stands are reliably Kosher.</span></font></div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span></span></font> </div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span>I never realized that Diet Rite Cola was made by
RC. But Diet Rite had sacharine, not nutra-sweet. Sacharine was
recalled (then made a comeback) because it allegedly caused cancer; arguably a
protection agains altzheimers. i vaguely remember that the scuttlebut at
the time was that sugar industry used its influence to get it off the
market.</span></font></div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span></span></font> </div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span>i was taught that at home, or in a formal setting, you
eat chicken with knife & fork. If you have a can or small bottle of
soda, you pour it into a cup. If you're on a picnic, you eat chicken with
your fingers and drink from the can.</span></font></div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span></span></font> </div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span>Most people i know have two first names. but
men have men's names and women have women's names.</span></font></div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span></span></font> </div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span>Good, I was able to get my tongue
out.</span></font></div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span></span></font> </div>
<div dir="ltr" align="left"><font color="#0000ff" size="2" face="Arial"><span>greenBubble</span></font></div></span></font></div><br>
<div dir="ltr" align="left" lang="en-us">
<hr>
<font size="2" face="Tahoma"><b>From:</b>
gcfl-discuss-bounces_milton.freund=<a href="http://siemens.com" target="_blank">siemens.com</a>@<a href="http://gcfl.net" target="_blank">gcfl.net</a>
[mailto:<a href="mailto:gcfl-discuss-bounces_milton.freund" target="_blank">gcfl-discuss-bounces_milton.freund</a>=<a href="http://siemens.com" target="_blank">siemens.com</a>@<a href="http://gcfl.net" target="_blank">gcfl.net</a>] <b>On Behalf Of
</b>Discussion of the Good, Clean Funnies List<br><b>Sent:</b> Monday, November
09, 2009 8:45 PM<br><b>To:</b> Freund, Milton (H USA)<br><b>Subject:</b> Re:
[GCFL-discuss] Fw: [GCFL.net] Bluenecks: Northerners
(OppositeofRednecks)<br></font><br></div><div><div></div><div class="h5">
<div></div>
<div>--------- Forwarded message ----------<br>From: "The Good, Clean Funnies
List" <<a href="mailto:gcfl-info@gcfl.net" target="_blank">gcfl-info@gcfl.net</a>><br></div>
<div>Bluenecks: Northerners (Opposite of Rednecks)</div>
<div>YOU JUST MIGHT BE A BLUENECK IF...</div>
<div><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font> </div>
<div>- Instead of referring to two or more people as "Y'all," you<span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"> </font></span>call them "you guys," even if both of them are
women.</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">This one is true, except among African Americans, who
dominate many northern central cities. The reason immigrants who were considered
"non-white" on arrival think that people with dark skin are wierd is because
they have so many southern habits. Therefore, "y'all" is becoming increasingly
common among bluenecks.</font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">I
grew up with southern parents in southern California and Arizona.
Those areas don't use different pronunciations or words for
things. I never heard the word pocketbook until I was nearly twenty and
engaged to a guy from Pennsylvania and that's what he called his mom's
purse. WEIRD! And gumband? What the heck was he talking
about?!? The only Pennsylvanianism that he has held onto all these
years later is his use of the word up. He says slow up instead of slow
down to mean reduce the speed. And when he says OUR it sounds like
"are". It was very confusing for our children when they were learning to
talk/understand language.</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span> </span>- You think barbecue is a verb
meaning "to cook outside."</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">OUTSIDE??? It's COLD up here. You think we're going to
go all winter without any barbecue??? Besides, if we don't understand about
barbecue, we ask somebody black, and they know the correct down home
answer.</font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">My
family didn't own a grill, but when we talked about someone cooking on one,
we referred to it as barbequing. I don't know how to barbeque (make
food using smoky sauces), but we use the grill all the time. We call it
grilling. But my parents still call it barbequing.</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div>- You think Heinz Ketchup is REALLY SPICY.</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">Well, I do. My friend Renee keeps a special mild sauce
for me when she makes tacos, and I think its screaming five alarm hot. She
doesn't eat ox tail soup though, because she's northern (Illinois and Missouri),
unlike all the other people up here with dark complexions.</font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">I
am a gringo living in a largely South
American/Mexican/Mexican-American community and dislike all foods
containing capsaicin. I don't like for my mouth/lips/tongue/esophagus to
burn. But the good nasal burn from horseradish is
fabulous! Some salsas (sauces in English) smell good, but I know not
to even try if they have any chili peppers in them. NO MATTER what the
cook claims. Ketchup? That stuff is sweet, not hot. Spanish
has a benefit when it comes to the word 'hot'. We use the word
spicy and hot interchangeably when we mean full of spices OR spicy
hot. They use picante for spicy heat, caliente for temperature hot,
and something like sabor for full of flavor. I wish English had something
so useful.</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span> </span>- You would never stop to buy
something somebody was cooking<span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"> </font></span>on the side of the
road.</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">OK, now we talk about New York, where my sister's
family lives. Everybody buys lunch from some guy cooking in a little cart by the
side of the road, unless they can afford those fancy expensive restaurants. Even
Burger King costs too much in New York, because the rents are so high to even
open the place.</font></div>
<div><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"><span>There are jillions of taco stands in the naked city
(Tucson area) but I don't trust the preparer's hygiene or their food
handling abilities. Don't get me going on this one... I tried lots
of food from many different carts when I visited Manhattan.</span></font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span> </span>- You don't have any problems
pronouncing "Worcestershire<span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"> </font></span>sauce" correctly.</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">Around here it's WOR-CHEST-UR-SHUR sauce. How do y'all
pronounce it? Actually, I don't know too many people who use it. We prefer Sweet
Baby Ray's barbecue sauce. Year round.</font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">For us, it's always been Wor CHEST Er Shire. Just like it is
spelled. Did I ever mention I was a spelling bee
champ?</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span> </span>- You don't know what a moon
pie is.</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">If I did, I don't think I would eat one. Sounds like
something on the front cover of Hustler magazine.</font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">Moon pies are yummy. A sandwich made of marshmallow and
soft graham crackers covered in waxy chocolate. Mmmm-mmmm
good.</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span> </span>- You've never had an RC
Cola.</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">Yeah, we have RC up here. I don't like it. I prefer
Coca-Cola. Isn't that from Atlanta or something? We have Dr. Pepper too, thanks
to the wonders of inter-state freight. I don't like Dr. Pepper either. My mother
graduated from high school in Tennessee and went to a northern college on a Dr.
Pepper scholarship.</font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">It
seems to me that Royal Crown was the first to make diet cola. It was
called Diet Riet, but my mom (who drank it) pronounced it Diet Riot.
I STILL hear that in my head when I see it written!</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span> </span>- You've never, ever eaten okra
-- fried, boiled, or<span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"> </font></span>pickled.</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">I have had the misfortune to eat okra. My mother made
me eat it when I was a kid. I call it "glue-fruit." I will never eat it again,
just like George H.W. Bush said he wasn't going to eat broccoli since he was
president of the United States and nobody could make him. But you can get okra,
fresh, canned, and frozen, at this local supermarket chain, mostly in black
neighborhoods, where they sell "hard to find southern foods."</font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">I
like it as an adult as long as it has been fried in cornbread batter.
Eating boiled okra was like eating snot. Its texture makes it not
fit for human consumption, the same as snot.</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span> </span>- You eat fried chicken with a
knife and fork.</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">Never.</font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">Pizza? Sure. The crust bends and the toppings tend to
slide off. But fried chicken --why? It's finger-liking
good!</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span> </span>- You've never seen a live
chicken, and the only cows you've<span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"> </font></span>seen are on road
trips.</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">We also have children's petting zoos. I spent October
working on a pumpkin farm doing tours. They had live chickens, and live guinea
hens. One of the parent-chaperones with a busload of school kids said his
grandmother in Mississippi used guinea hens for watchdogs -- they set up a
racket if anyone comes around at night. Elementary school classes get taken on
tours of dairy farms, where the often sight a cow or two.</font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">I
try not to associate animals in the field with food I eat. As hard as I
have tried, I cannot swallow game meat. And I prefer to think of the meat
I eat as unrelated to actual animals. I purposely buy boneless (and
skinless) meats. Never whole fish. Just the filets in the freezer,
far removed from the glass case where you can see their whole
bodies.</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span> </span>- You have no idea what a
polecat is.</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">Sure I do, its anyone from the south who gets elected
to congress.</font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">This made me laugh out loud. Siarlys, you are
hysterical!</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span> </span>- You don't see anything wrong
with putting a sweater on<span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"> </font></span>your dog.</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">I see plenty wrong with having a dog at all, in the
house, or in the yard. Any dog steps on my property, I'm going to exercise my
Second Amendment rights.</font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">The "It's Me Or The Dog" lady made sense when she said that
animals are not to be clothed. They are animals.</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span> </span>- You don't have bangs.</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">No, I don't, but I'm a man, and due to my mixed
Jewish-Protestant and God knows what else heritage, my hair doesn't hang down
anyway. When I was about ten, a lot of German American male school mates had
bangs. The Beatles were new back then.</font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">Don't all children have bangs? I never realized that people
from the north didn't want to see out of both eyes. Although it makes a
lot of sense to me now. </font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span> </span>- You would rather have your
son become a lawyer than grow<span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"> </font></span>up to get his own TV
fishing show.</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">I would rather have my own son work for a
living.</font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">This is what I would have like to have said, but before you said
it.</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span> </span>- You've never eaten and don't
know how to make a tomato<span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"> </font></span>sandwich.</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">True for me. I don't eat fresh tomatoes. They have to
be cooked into ketchup or tomato paste before I eat them. Or the green ones have
to be pickled. One of my favorite sandwiches in BLK.</font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">Is
a tomato sandwich made with bread, mayonnaise and sliced ripe tomatoes?
One of our (male) roommates made and ate those every single day. I never
saw the draw...</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span> </span>- You think more money should
go to important scientific<span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"> </font></span>research at your
university than to pay the salary of the<span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"> </font></span>head football
coach.</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">Well, my father taught chemistry, so I think the money
should pay the salary of the classroom professors. But my second cousin's
husband is basketball coach at Ole Miss. When he told another coach, soon after
he arrived, that he is Catholic, they guy looked at him like he should have
found a job up north somewhere. His wife was born and raised Protestant in
Tennessee, but she's a better Catholic than he is now.</font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">I
would like for everyone to work hard for a living and make money doing so.
What you choose is up to you.</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span> </span>- You don't even have one can
of WD-40 somewhere around the<span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"> </font></span>house.</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">Got to have WD-40 around the house. Always. This is
Milwaukee, not New York. People around here think a good bar in West Virginia is
just like home.</font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">Doesn't everyone have WD-40? Or a little can of household
oil? Ours was clipped inside the cabinet of my mom's black Singer
sewing machine while I grew up and a new one is clipped there in my home
now!</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span> </span>- You don't have any hats in
your closet that advertise feed<span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"> </font></span>stores.</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">I don't wear hats.</font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">I
hate ball caps. I hate all hats with sayings. I would like to wear a
hat when I want to be fancy or shaded from the hot hot sun, but I can't find
hats to fit me. My head is literally too large.</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span> </span>- You don't know anyone with at
least two first names (i.e.,<span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"> </font></span>Joe Bob, Faye Ellen,
Billy Ray, Mary Jo, Bubba Dean, Joe<span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"> </font></span>Dan, Mary Alice)</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">Did I mention that a lot of African Americans live up
north, and most of them came from the south, except my friend Renee's family?
They almost ALL have two first names, sometimes their last name is a third first
name. Even a few Bubba's, as in "I got someone here for Bubba to whup." Johnnie
Mae is real popular.</font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">I
admit that there were more people in my college (in Texas) that had two
names than there are in Southern CA or Arizona to this day.</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span> </span>- You don't know any women with
male names (i.e., Tommie,<span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"> </font></span>Bobbie, Johnnie,
Jimmie)</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">Did I mention that... oh, yeah, I just said
that.</font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">I
knew plenty of girls with traditionally boy names. But only one boy ever
had a girl name and that was Noel. To me it seemed like a feminine name,
not one for a guy.</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span> </span>- None of your fur coats are
homemade.</div>
<div><font color="#ff0000">Fur coats are for rich people, frat brothers, and dope
kingpins.</font></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">I
can't afford a fur coat. And where would I wear it? I don't go
anywhere or do anything to warrant nice clothes. AND I live in the
stinking DESERT! Where the high today was 86F. But when I was only
10, my rich lady aunt from Texas sent me white rabbit muff, earmuffs, and
mittens for Christmas. I felt like I was a rich lady! I think I
rubbed the fur completely off those things!</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">We
returned last night from an 8 day trip to Fort Hood Texas to visit my brand
new grandson. </font></span><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">On Thursday, it felt like the day President
Reagan was shot and 9/11: glued to the TV and waiting waiting
waiting. We were very close to the action (less than 1/4 mile), but were
never in danger. My son works next door to that building, but praise
the good Lord, he was/is safe in Iraq!</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic"></font></span> </div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">Siarlys, keep the conversation running...</font></span></div>
<div><span><font color="#000080" face="Century Gothic">Jeanene</font></span><br>
</div></div></div></div></blockquote></div>