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<DIV><BR>--------- Forwarded message ----------<BR>From: "The Good, Clean
Funnies List" <<A
href="mailto:gcfl-info@gcfl.net">gcfl-info@gcfl.net</A>><BR>To: <A
href="mailto:jsiarlys@juno.com">jsiarlys@juno.com</A><BR>Cc: "The Good, Clean
Funnies List" <<A href="mailto:gcfl@gcfl.net">gcfl@gcfl.net</A>><BR>Date:
Fri, 6 Jul 2012 02:00:03 -0500 (CDT)<BR></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>It's So True</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>- Hard work pays off later. Laziness pays off now!</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>- When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is<BR>like the
IRS.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>Can you take the receipt with you?</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>My parents already chose their own.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>- I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better!</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>Reminds me of a line in <EM>The Light and
Heebie-Jeebies</EM>, a literary magazine published in Chicago in the 1920s. A
columnist called "Mr. Moon" writing from Evanston called for firearms training
for all, because "It's a shame to hear of so many women missing their
husbands."</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>- A closed mouth gathers no foot.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>Depends on whose foot, and how hard it is
kicked.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV> The Bill of Rights (Void where prohibited by law)</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>- A fool and his money can throw a great party.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>- If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>If there is no God, how come my life makes so much
sense?</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>- Remember, half the people in the world are below average.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>Not really. Half the people in the world are below the
median. The average is usually above or below the median, meanint more than half
are above... or below.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>Using math for a continuous wave function or quantum
mechanics? You know the old saw employers and supervisors are fond of, "If
99.99% is good enough, then every day 456,543 children never get home from
school"? I once figured, if a school bus driver has fifty passengers, and a 1%
loss rate, then every trip, the number of passengers lost is less than 1. Since
losses cannot accumulate at the rate of 1/2 student per trip, this does not mean
a loss rate of one student every two trips.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>- Losing a wife/husband can be hard. In my case it was<BR>nearly
impossible.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>- The trouble with life is there's no background music.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>That's why Sony invented the Walkman, Apple the iPod,
etc.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>I left a few for everyone else, which is a magnanimous
way of saying I couldn't think of anything to say about them.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>Siarlys</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Received from ArcaMax Jokes.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV></BODY></HTML>
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