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<DIV><BR>--------- Forwarded message ----------<BR>From: "The Good, Clean
Funnies List" <<A
href="mailto:gcfl-info@gcfl.net">gcfl-info@gcfl.net</A>><BR></DIV>
<DIV>Redneck Thanksgiving</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>/* Happy Thanksgiving! */</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>You might be a redneck if ....</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>You've ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a ping-pong table.</DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>I thought that's what pointy-headed northern
college-town libruls do.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Thanksgiving dinner is squirrel and dumplings.</DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>Last I heard, in northern Mississippi, its squirrel
dumplings. No "and" to it.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>There's a Democratic congressman in those parts who
loves them.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>You've ever re-used a paper plate.</DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>Everybody does that.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool<BR>Whip on the
side.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>You've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.</DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>That's a Hispanic immigrant custom.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Your turkey platter is an old hub cap.</DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Your best dishes have Dixie printed on them.</DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>That just means your daddy used to work for a company
that made</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>paper cups, before the jobs were outsourced to
China.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Your stuffing's secret ingredient comes from the bait shop.</DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>My Tennessee cousins wouldn't eat that.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Your only condiment on the dining room table is ketchup.</DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>That's MY dining room table in Milwaukee!</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Side dishes include beef jerky and Moon Pies.</DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>That stuff's so chic it's expensive. Rednecks can't
afford it any more.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.</DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>That's how anvironmetalist's do it, to save energy or
something.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>The directions to your house include "turn off the paved<BR>road." <FONT
color=#ff0000>Up north, that's the way to an upscale housing
development.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.</DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>Dummies. Don't they know the largest casualty count in
the Civil War was</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>caused by Armour's pork and beans?</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.</DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>Half the old white ladies in Minnesota have
those.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>Your secret family recipe is illegal.</DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>Not if its under 400 gallons a year, and served at
home.</FONT></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
<DIV>You serve Vienna sausage as an appetizer.</DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>My Tennessee cousins wouldn't eat that either. Its what
northern capitalists</FONT></DIV>
<DIV><FONT color=#ff0000>think is good enough for
hillbillies.</FONT><BR>--<BR>Rate, print or email this funny at<BR><A
href="http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20121122">http://www.gcfl.net/archive.php?funny=20121122</A></DIV>
<DIV> </DIV>
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<br><br><font SIZE="2" color="#000000">____________________________________________________________</font><br><a style="TEXT-DECORATION: none" href="http://thirdpartyoffers.juno.com/TGL3142/50b0602e8727a602e4095st03duc" target=_blank><font face="Arial"><font color="#004080" size="3"><b>Woman is 57 But Looks 27</b></font><br><font color="#000000" size="2">Mom publishes simple facelift trick that angered doctors...<br></a><a style="COLOR: #000000" href="http://thirdpartyoffers.juno.com/TGL3142/50b0602e8727a602e4095st03duc" target=_blank>ConsumerLifestyles.org</a></font></font>