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View Funnies Sunday, June 13, 2021

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EXTRA: This funny is in the 'extra' queue which means it is clean, but not really good enough to be mailed out. Of course, it could be removed or shuffled to another queue at any time. Your votes help us decide if a funny should be mailed out (or not). Please give your opinion by voting.

Kickers
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Rating: 3.31/5 (45 votes)
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I thought you might enjoy a few of the news kickers I write for my morning radio show - feel free to use if you'd like. - Darren Marlar

  • Scientists have found several 900-year-old knives in a Peruvian dig in South America. ***MARLAR: And they still cut through tin cans! That Ginsu stuff is amazing!

  • It's long been believed that an ingredient in turkey known as tryptophan is responsible for the post-Thanksgiving meal grogginess, but it's not true. Tryptophan can induce sleepiness, but experts say you'd have to eat an amazing amount of turkey for it to have an effect. ***MARLAR: Well, I did go back for fourths.

  • Doctors for Australia's Olympic team are worried that their athletes might contract hepatitis, typhoid, or other diseases while competing in China in 2008. So they are issuing a series of warnings about what to avoid. ***MARLAR: At the top of the list of things to avoid -- China.

  • Older men who have big biceps and a smaller waist circumference will likely live a lot longer than their more portly friends. British researchers have concluded that the size of a man's belly and the bulk of his biceps provide a far more accurate forecast of his mortality than body mass index (BMI) alone. ***MARLAR: Looking at my gut, my challenge now is apparently to find a way to make my biceps three feet wide.

  • Your cell phone may be harming your hearing, says author and researcher Naresh Panda, M.D. She led a study of 100 cell phone users and the results show that four years of heavy cell phone use (about an hour a day) diminished the users' ability to hear high frequencies, making it hard for them to distinguish between certain sounds. ***MARLAR: At least, that's what we think she said. It was kinda hard to hear over the cell phone static.

  • The New York Times' #1 best-selling book is about how to work only four hours a week. ***MARLAR: Guess what's at the top of MY Christmas list!


Received from Darren Marlar.


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