Why wouldn't the dog attend the Veterans Day Parade?
There were too many vets.

Did you hear about the soldier who snuck behind enemy lines disguised as a Christmas tree?
He was a decorated veteran.

Why do WWI veterans dislike golf?
They always end up in the bunker.

A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave."
The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge, no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"

What do you call a veteran working at a sandwich shop?
A submarine.

What do menopausal veterans get?
Hot flashbacks.

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