Two Mohicans walk into a bar. That was the last I saw of them.

A genius is someone who is screwed up in a useful way.

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

The extra mile isn't half as long as all those other miles.

Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.

Today everyone wants instant gratification, no matter how long it takes.

Did you really think Mr. Rogers wanted you or me as a neighbor?

When you're rich, it's "eccentric"; when you're poor, it's just strange.

A grown-up is someone who suffers from responsibility.

Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Your dreams will come true as soon as you're ready.

Received from Joke du Jour.

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