As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

My wife said to me, "I want to be cremated." I said, "How about Tuesday?"

I've had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you're carrying a grudge, they're out dancing.

I've had a good day when I don't fall out of the [golf] cart.

I found out that if you made people laugh, they like you. Most people got to like me because I made them laugh. When they didn't, I hit them.

There have always been mixed emotions about Howard Cosell: Some people hate him like poison; and other people just hate him regular.

- From AZquotes.com

Received from Wayne Onaka.

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