If God didn't want man to hunt, He wouldn't have given us plaid shirts.

Married men live longer than single men. But married men are a lot more willing to die.

Happiness is having a rare steak, a bottle of whiskey, and a dog to eat the rare steak.

Some sad news from Australia... the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today.

I hated my last boss. He asked, "Why are you two hours late?" I said, "I fell downstairs." He said, "That doesn't take two hours."

Never use a big word when a little filthy one will do.

If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.

Happiness is your dentist telling you it won't hurt and then having him catch his hand in the drill.

What's all this fuss about plutonium? How can something named after a Disney character be dangerous?

- From AZquotes.com

Received from Wayne Onaka.

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