My wife sat me down and told me how important Valentine's Day is to her.

She must have something really awesome planned for us.

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Did you hear about the man who bought his girlfriend beads for an abacus for Valentine's Day?

It's the little things that count.

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A wife called her husband and said, "Three women in the office just received beautiful flowers for Valentine's Day! They are absolutely gorgeous!"

The husband replied, "Well, that's probably why they got flowers."

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Did you hear about the person who used to open so many cards on Valentine's Day?

Eventually, the post office fired him for it.

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The wife said to the husband, "For Valentine's Day, nothing would make me happier than a diamond necklace."

So, he got her nothing.

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