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My fashion philosophy is, if you're not covered in dog hair, your life is empty.

I know what men want. Men want to be really, really close to someone who will leave them alone.

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

People are giving birth underwater now. They say it's less traumatic for the baby because it's under water. But it's certainly more traumatic for the other people in the pool.

Have you noticed that if you leave the laundry in the hamper long enough, it's ready to wear again?

My mother always said you could eat off her floor; you could eat of my floor too, there's so much food down there.

When women are depressed, they eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a whole different way of thinking.

Received from Wayne Onaka.

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