VISA is everywhere you want to be ... except out of debt.

Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no.

In one year, a healthy adult male will consume one-and-one-half times his own weight in other people's patience.

Medical experts are now saying obesity is a disease. I'm overjoyed! Tomorrow I'm calling in fat.

Would you call a caveman with a big ego a Meanderthal?

I call my car "poetic." Because every now and then I like to wax poetic.

I saw a sign in a restroom that said, "Employees Must Wash Hands." So I waited and waited, but eventually had to wash them myself.

Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors.

My nephew took a job busting broncos at a rodeo out west. He hasn't made much money, yet, but gosh ... I figure he only works about seven seconds a week.

Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.

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