Adolescence: The period when a teenager feels he will never be as dumb as his parents.

Americans: People with more time-saving devices yet less time than anybody else in the world.

Banker: A pawnbroker with a manicure.

Coach: One who is always willing to lay down your life for his job.

Dentist: A magician who puts metal in your mouth and pulls coins from your pocket.

Dermatologist: One who makes rash judgments.

Diplomacy: The art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock.

Disarmament: An agreement between nations to scuttle all weapons that are obsolete.

Efficiency Expert: The person smart enough to tell you how to run a business but too smart to start his own.

Experience: The name we give our mistakes.

Honeymoon: A vacation a man takes before beginning work under a new boss.

Hunch: An idea you're afraid is wrong.

Incentive: The possibility of getting more money than you earn.

Kodaclone: Duplicating film.

Lame Duck: A politician whose goose is cooked.

Life Insurance: A policy that keeps you poor so you can die rich.

Pacifist: A guy who fights everybody but the enemy.

Planning: The art of putting off until tomorrow what you have no intention of doing today.

Professor: One who talks in someone else's sleep.

Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

Rich Man: One who is not afraid to ask the clerk for something cheaper.

Tact: The ability to see others as they wish to be seen.

Tact: The art of making guests feel at home when that's where you wish they were.

Received from Mikey's Funnies.

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