* Coffee and frozen pizzas can be made on a BBQ grill.

* No matter how many times you flick the switch, lights don't work without electricity.

* Kids can survive 4 days or longer without a video game controller in their hand.

* Cats are really irritating without power.

* He who has the biggest generator wins.

* Women can actually survive without doing their hair -- you just wish they weren't around you.

* A new method of non-lethal torture -- showers without hot water.

* TV is an addiction and the withdrawal symptoms are painful. One day at a time, brother.

* There are a lot of trees around here.

* Flood plan drawings on some mortgage documents were seriously wrong.

* Contrary to most Florida natives' beliefs, the speed limit on roads without traffic lights does not increase.

* Aluminum siding, while aesthetically pleasing, is definitely not required, and during wind surges becomes flying, lethal weapons.

* Just because you're over 21 doesn't mean you can stay out as late as you want. At least that's what the cops told me during a curfew stop.

* Crickets can increase their volume to overcome the sound of 14 generators.

* People will get into a line that has already formed without having any idea what the line is for.

* When required, a Chrysler 300M will float -- doesn't steer well, but floats just the same.

* Some things do keep the mailman from his appointed rounds.

* Telemarketers function no matter what the weather is doing.

* Cell phones work when landlines are down, but only as long as the battery remains charged.

* 27 of your neighbors are fed from a different transformer than you, and they are quick to point that out!

* Laundry hampers were not made to contain such a volume.

* If I had a store that sold only ice, chainsaws, gas, and generators... I'd be rich.

* The price of a bag of ice rises 200% after a hurricane.

* Your waterfront property can quickly become someone else's fishing hole.

* Tree service companies are underappreciated.

* I learned what happens when you make fun of another state's blackout.

* MATH 101: 30 days in a month, minus 6 days without power, equals a 30% higher electric bill ?????

* Drywall is a compound word; take away the "dry" part and it's worthless.

Received from Timothy Anger.

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