People everywhere confuse what they read in newspapers with news. - A. J. Liebling

Adlai E. Stevenson Jr., Speech during 1952 Presidential Campaign: I have been thinking that I would make a proposition to my (x political party) friends... that if they will stop telling lies about the (y political party), we will stop telling the truth about them.

When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He said, "I want my daughter back by 8:15." I said, "The middle of August? Cool!" - Steven Wright

Are you going to come quietly, or do I have to use earplugs? - Spike Milligan, from "The Goon Show"

We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police. - Jeff Marder

I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect. - George Burns

Received from Quotes of the Day.

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