"It takes time to raise children. I know, I have two myself. That's plenty. Mine are twins, though. Both of them. They're awfully cute. I can't think of their names. They don't come when I call them anyway." - Victor Borge

If I plant sesame seeds, will I be able to grow hamburger buns? - Lawrence Brotherton

"God help the man who won't marry until he finds a perfect woman, and God help him still more if he finds her." - Benjamin Tillett

I have bad luck with women. A woman I was dating told me on the phone, "I have to go, there's a telemarketer on the other line." - Zach Galifianakis

"I wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific." - Lily Tomlin

"In Florida, a 96-year-old woman is running for mayor. When asked if she knew who she was running against, she said, 'Time.'" - Conan O'Brien

Received from Jokeworm's Quotes.

For subscription and other information, go to our web page at http://GCFL.net, or send email to info@gcfl.net.