[GCFL-discuss] Franks question - How long?

Thu Apr 8 15:28:35 CDT 2004

Marriage is two people trying to make it as one. 
I guess I sometimes feel like it'll take us 50 years to get to the 'one' part. Other days, I feel it in my bones that were one. 
He is who he is. I knew that when I agreed to marry him. 
My mother just laughs and says welcome to marriage! :) 
When i look back, i can understand her meaning. It takes practice to get in sync with each other. It doesn't come right away.
I have many good examples in life and in my bible I always try to go by. 1 cor. I read over and over. 'Love is not jealous'. 
'It does not look for it's own interest, does not become provoked" 
I had all that in my wedding talk. Also Eph. about how the man will love his wife as his own body and the wife will have deep respect for her husband.
I know all these things, and I try to apply them. But when you spend time apart and it starts to show to others. Your not being the example that you thought you would be to others when you get married. 
Pray is NUMBER 1 in my books and reading information.
I guess I will work harder to become my respectful of his wishes of what he wants to do with his time. 

Bonnie

gcfl-discuss at gcfl.net wrote:
Bonnie,
Marriage has to be worked at by both partners.  The way you felt at the beginning was feelings.  Now you get the real nitty gritty of marriage.  It can be wonderful and it can be hell and all with the same wonderful person on the same day, but all can be accomplished for good if you keep prayer first in your life, talk to each other, cultivate mutual interests (not all interests are you going to share and that is a good healthy thing, too much in each others pockets and you do lose yourself.  You must be you to be two.)
If you feel you need to seek counsel go see a christian counselor with your faith.  Do not seek help from your friends as they do not need your problems, they have their own.  I don't mean us, I mean those you see everyday.  My husband and I worked opposite shifts for 15 years of our almost 17 year marriage and I had a highly stressful job and also had the main responsibility for the foster children we had and then the 4 we adopted.  It can be rough, it is definately challenging, but so worth making it work.  Talk to each other and really listen to what is being said.  My first almost 29 year marriage ended because listening was not what my husband had in mind, telling was what he had been taught and he never learned any different.  Right now my husband is helping me deal with the problems the adopted children, ages 15, 14, 13 and 11, have from the drugs their moms used and the long slow death of my 39 year old who has ALS.  G od is our strength and He should be yours.  Humans are
 human and are not always there for us, but God is.  
Blessings and hugs from one wife to another.
Nancy

gcfl-discuss at gcfl.net wrote:
Top question.....how do you do it????

Me and my husband have been married for over a year, but it feels different now. He has a different schedule than me and our interests have changed. 
He still loves me and shows it, it's just....he keeps himself occupied without me. He likes to play video games and watch dagonball z cartoons. 
Does a man change when he sees he needs to change or does he become more independent the more you wonder why he hasn't changed? 

How do you keep a marriage balanced, without losing yourself? 
We both have the same faith and everything. It's just missing something. Or am I missing something?

Bonnie

Sorry if i got too personal....just curious.

gcfl-discuss at gcfl.net wrote:
How long have I been married?   LOOOOOOOOOOOONG  38 years - started dating when we were freshmen in High School.  
Carla from Georgia
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LIVE WELL, LAUGH OFTEN , LOVE MUCH 
GREETINGS FROM THE DESK OF BONNIE 

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GREETINGS FROM THE DESK OF BONNIE 

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