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Clean Puns Date: Sent Wednesday, August 17, 2005 Category: None

Rating: 2.28/5 (364 votes) Click a button to cast your vote

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There's nothing grate about sliced cheese. (Daniel Riehs)

Crack dealers stick their business in other people's noses.

I've heard that the government is planning on taxing the mathematically illiterate. Wait!! Isn't that called the lottery? (Bob Dvorak)

I used to frequent a buffet restaurant, one where you even get your own drinks, but they still want to get tipped. At the exit there was a box bolted to the wall with a sign on it that said "tip box." I tried to, but it was too firmly bolted to tip it. (Barry Austern)

I tried snorting Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose.

If a man were forced to serve two prison terms, I suppose he'd have a compound sentence. (Douglas Helsel)

The math department felt they weren't getting enough students registering as math majors, so they made a commercial and aired it on prime time -- 2 o'clock, 3 o'clock, 5 o'clock, 7 o'clock, and 11 o'clock. (Bob Dvorak)

Cars driven at night burn midnight oil. (George Sholin)

A man inserted an advertisement in the classified: "Wife Wanted." The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

A mathematician scolding his child: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times." (Bob Dvorak)

If you're sharing an apartment with a sheep and a cow, could you consider them your ruminates? (Gary Hallock)

Applying mascara in a car can cause whipped lashes. (Pun of the Day)

Received from Stan Kegel.