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Thursday, November 21, 2024 |
Various American Independence Day Jokes   
Date: Sent Friday, July 4, 2014
Category: None | Rating: 1.73/5 (91 votes)
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/* GCFL wishes all Americans a Happy and Safe Independence Day! */
Robert: What's red, white and blue?
Bradley: Our flag, of course.
Robert: And a sad candy cane!
Tom Swiftie: "Don't light those fireworks!" Tom exploded.
Books never written:
"The Star-Spangled Banner" by Jose Kanusee
"American Victories" by Norman D. Beech
"Coming to America" by Anita Greencard
"The Parts of the National Anthem" by Homer D. Brave
"How to Become President" by Paul O'Ticks
Joe: My brother swallowed a box of firecrackers.
Moe: Is he all right now?
Joe: I don't know. I haven't heard the last report.
What did George Washington say to his men before they crossed the Delaware?
"Get in the boat, men!"
What do you call an American drawing?
A Yankee doodle!
Teacher: Tommy, can you tell us where the Declaration of Independence was signed?
Tommy: Yes, ma'am. At the bottom.
What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?
The Battle of Bonkers Hill.
Teacher: Johnny, what are the last words of "The Star-Spangled Banner"?
Johnny: "Play ball"?
What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?
Liberty!
What did the colonists wear to the Boston Tea Party?
Tea-shirts.
Which famous person do you get when you make a wreath out of $100 bills?
Aretha Franklin!
What is the difference between a duck and George Washington?
One has a bill on his face; the other has his face on a bill!
Why were the first Pennsylvania settlers like ants?
Because they lived in colonies.
What's red, white, blue, and almost as ugly as a dog?
A revolutionary warthog!
From Cathy Gilstrap and other various sources on the Internet.
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