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Excellent Frank!! FUN FUN!

Lance
John 8:32 "You will know the Truth and the Truth will set you free."

On Sat, 11 Sep 2004 13:28:33 -0600 gcfl-discuss at gcfl.net writes:
Here are a couple of religious jokes I think you folks might enjoy.  
Frank

The End Is Near! 
A local priest and a pastor were fishing on the side of the road. They
thoughtfully made a sign saying, "The End is Near! Turn yourself around
now before it's too late!" and showed it to each passing car. One driver
who drove by didn't appreciate the sign and shouted at them, "Leave us
alone, you religious nuts!" All of a sudden they heard a big splash,
looked at each other, and the priest said to the pastor, "You think maybe
we should have just said 'Bridge Out' instead?" 

Subject: Bible Sales 
A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial
troubles. One day, while checking the church storeroom, he discovered
several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed.
So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the
congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10
each to raise the desperately needed money for the church. Peter, Paul
and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The reverend
knew that Peter and Paul earned their living as salesmen and were likely
capable of selling some bibles but he had serious doubts about Louie. 
Louie was just a little local farmer, who had always tended to keep to
himself because he was embarrassed by his speech impediment. Poor little
Louis stuttered very badly. But, not wanting to discourage poor Louis,
the reverend decided to let him try anyway. 
He sent the three of them away with the back seat of their cars stacked
with bibles and asked them to meet with him and report the results of
their door-to-door selling efforts the following Sunday, which they did. 
Anxious to find out how successful they were, the reverend immediately
asked Peter, "Well, Peter, how did you make out selling our bibles last
week?" Proudly handing the reverend an envelope, Peter replied, "Father,
using my sales prowess, I was able to sell 20 bibles, and here's the 200
dollars I collected on behalf of the church." 
"Fine job, Peter!" The reverend said, vigorously shaking his hand. "You
are indeed a fine salesman and the Church is indebted to you." 
Turning to Paul, he asked "And Paul, how many bibles did you manage to
sell for the church last week?" Paul, smiling and sticking out his chest,
confidently replied, "Reverend, I am a professional salesman and was
happy to give the church the benefit of my sales expertise. Last week I
sold 28 bibles on behalf of the church, and here's 280 dollars I
collected." 
The reverend responded, "That's absolutely splendid, Paul. You are truly
a professional salesman and the church is also indebted to you." 
Apprehensively, the reverend turned to little Louie and said, "And Louie,
did you manage to sell any bibles last week?" Louie silently offered the
reverend a large envelope. The reverend opened it and counted the
contents. 
"What is this?" the reverend exclaimed. "Louie, there's 3200 dollars in
here! Are you suggesting that you sold 320 bibles for the church, door to
door, in just one week? 
Louie just nodded. 
That's impossible!" both Peter and Paul said in unison. "We are
professional salesmen, yet you claim to have sold 10 times as many bibles
as we could." 
"Yes, this does seem unlikely," the reverend agreed. "I think you'd
better explain how you managed to accomplish this, Louie." Louie
shrugged. "I-I-I- re-re-really do-do-don't kn-kn-know f-f-f-for
sh-sh-sh-sure," he stammered. 
Impatiently, Peter interrupted. "For crying out loud, Louie, just tell us
what you said to them when they answered the door!" 
"A-a-a-all I-I-I s-s-said wa-wa-was," Louis replied, "W-w-w-w-would
y-y-y-you l-l-l-l-l-like t-t-to b-b-b-buy th-th-th-this b-b-b-b-bible
f-f-for t-t-ten b-b-b-bucks ---o-o-o-or--- wo-wo-would yo-you j-j-j-just
l-like m-m-me t-t-to st-st-stand h-h-here and r-r-r-r-r-read it t-to
y-y-you?"



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