[GCFL-discuss] [GCFL.net] Biblical Headlines

[Discussion of the Good, Clean Funnies List]

Well folks, the problem I have with the liberal media is that they roll
over and play dead for this kind of garbage. Like when I made a
disparaging remark about Ronald Reagan after he died, and a friend of
mine deeply devoted to the man said "Gosh, even the liberal media are
saying nice things about him." Yeah, I responded, that's why I'm not a
liberal. The media aren't liberal. They're just consumed by fads, like
most of American culture. There are many ways to put Bible stories in
modern contexts. When I'm in West Virginia I attend River of Life Church
of God, so I can do this as well as anyone.

Siarlys

So, here is my rewrite:                and other observations

On Fri, 12 Sep 2008 02:00:03 -0500 (CDT) "The Good, Clean Funnies List"
<gcfl-info at gcfl.net> writes:
> Biblical Headlines
> 
> If Biblical Headlines were written by today's liberal
> media...
> 
> On Red Sea crossing:
> WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE        Since when do "the liberal
media" come out
> Pursuing Environmentalists Killed                  against a labor
strike while defending
                                                                         
wetlands anyway?
CULT LEADER DROWNS PURSUING SEX SLAVES
Escaping dissidents find refuge in wetlands


> 
> On David vs. Goliath:
> HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION
> Psychologist Questions Influence of Rock

IMPERIALIST WAR MONGER DESTROYED
Low Tech Guerilla Weapons Triumph

> 
> On Elijah on Mt. Carmel:
> FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY
> 400 Killed

400 MEGA CHURCH ASSISTANT PASTORS EXPOSED AS FAKERS
"Yes We Can" Triumphant Prophet Exhorts Crowd

> 
> On the birth of Christ:                                                
       I'll leave this one as is.
> HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS                          Stick it to
PETA -- where's the
> Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple       liberal?

> On feeding the 5,000:
> PREACHER STEALS CHILD'S LUNCH
> Disciples Mystified Over Behavior

ITINERANT PREACHER ARRESTED BY HEALTH INSPECTORS        I've had personal
experience
Probe food distribution to hungry without permit                      
that came darn close.

> On healing the 10 lepers:
> LOCAL DOCTOR'S PRACTICE RUINED
> "Faith Healer" Causes Bankruptcy

BAREFOOT DOCTOR HEALS CHRONIC INFECTION
HMO seeks cease and desist order

> 
> On healing of the Gadarene demoniac:        I'll leave this one alone
too. Liberal? It sounds
> MADMAN'S FRIEND CAUSES STAMPEDE        like something from the Chamber
of Commerc
> Local Farmer's Investment Lost                   Commerce.


> 
> On raising Lazarus from the dead:
> FUNDAMENTALIST PREACHER RAISES A STINK
> Will Reading to be Delayed

PATIENT PRONOUNCED DEAD FOUND TO BE STILL LIVING
Family explores suit against physician who signed death warrant.

> 
> Received from Andy Maslin.
> 
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