[GCFL-discuss] Fw: [GCFL.net] It's So True

[Discussion of the Good, Clean Funnies List]

- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
Remember, when dividing by half, you never reach zero...

~Lance

On Fri, Jul 6, 2012 at 3:51 PM, Discussion of the Good, Clean Funnies List <
gcfl-discuss at gcfl.net> wrote:

> **
>
> --------- Forwarded message ----------
> From: "The Good, Clean Funnies List" <gcfl-info at gcfl.net>
> To: jsiarlys at juno.com
> Cc: "The Good, Clean Funnies List" <gcfl at gcfl.net>
> Date: Fri,  6 Jul 2012 02:00:03 -0500 (CDT)
>
> It's So True
>
> - Hard work pays off later. Laziness pays off now!
>
> - When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is
> like the IRS.
>
> Can you take the receipt with you?
>
> - Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
>
> My parents already chose their own.
>
> - I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better!
>
> Reminds me of a line in *The Light and Heebie-Jeebies*, a literary
> magazine published in Chicago in the 1920s. A columnist called "Mr. Moon"
> writing from Evanston called for firearms training for all, because "It's a
> shame to hear of so many women missing their husbands."
>
> - A closed mouth gathers no foot.
>
> Depends on whose foot, and how hard it is kicked.
>
>  The Bill of Rights (Void where prohibited by law)
>
> - A fool and his money can throw a great party.
>
> - If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
>
> If there is no God, how come my life makes so much sense?
>
> - Remember, half the people in the world are below average.
>
> Not really. Half the people in the world are below the median. The average
> is usually above or below the median, meanint more than half are above...
> or below.
>
> - What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
>
> Using math for a continuous wave function or quantum mechanics? You know
> the old saw employers and supervisors are fond of, "If 99.99% is good
> enough, then every day 456,543 children never get home from school"? I once
> figured, if a school bus driver has fifty passengers, and a 1% loss rate,
> then every trip, the number of passengers lost is less than 1. Since losses
> cannot accumulate at the rate of 1/2 student per trip, this does not mean a
> loss rate of one student every two trips.
>
> - Losing a wife/husband can be hard. In my case it was
> nearly impossible.
>
> - The trouble with life is there's no background music.
>
> That's why Sony invented the Walkman, Apple the iPod, etc.
>
>
> I left a few for everyone else, which is a magnanimous way of saying I
> couldn't think of anything to say about them.
>
>
> Siarlys
>
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