[GCFL-discuss] Fw: [GCFL.net] It's So True

[Discussion of the Good, Clean Funnies List]

--------- Forwarded message ----------
From: "The Good, Clean Funnies List" <gcfl-info at gcfl.net>
To: jsiarlys at juno.com
Cc: "The Good, Clean Funnies List" <gcfl at gcfl.net>
Date: Fri,  6 Jul 2012 02:00:03 -0500 (CDT)


It's So True

- Hard work pays off later. Laziness pays off now!

- When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is
like the IRS.

Can you take the receipt with you?

- Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.

My parents already chose their own.

- I still miss my ex. But my aim is getting better!

Reminds me of a line in The Light and Heebie-Jeebies, a literary magazine
published in Chicago in the 1920s. A columnist called "Mr. Moon" writing
from Evanston called for firearms training for all, because "It's a shame
to hear of so many women missing their husbands."

- A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Depends on whose foot, and how hard it is kicked.

 The Bill of Rights (Void where prohibited by law)

- A fool and his money can throw a great party.

- If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?

If there is no God, how come my life makes so much sense?

- Remember, half the people in the world are below average.

Not really. Half the people in the world are below the median. The
average is usually above or below the median, meanint more than half are
above... or below.

- What happens if you get scared half to death twice?

Using math for a continuous wave function or quantum mechanics? You know
the old saw employers and supervisors are fond of, "If 99.99% is good
enough, then every day 456,543 children never get home from school"? I
once figured, if a school bus driver has fifty passengers, and a 1% loss
rate, then every trip, the number of passengers lost is less than 1.
Since losses cannot accumulate at the rate of 1/2 student per trip, this
does not mean a loss rate of one student every two trips.

- Losing a wife/husband can be hard. In my case it was
nearly impossible.

- The trouble with life is there's no background music.

That's why Sony invented the Walkman, Apple the iPod, etc.


I left a few for everyone else, which is a magnanimous way of saying I
couldn't think of anything to say about them.


Siarlys

Received from ArcaMax Jokes.
____________________________________________________________
53 Year Old Mom Looks 33
The Stunning Results of Her Wrinkle Trick Has Botox Doctors Worried
http://thirdpartyoffers.juno.com/TGL3141/4ff8e783428014197m05duc
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