[GCFL-discuss] Fw: [GCFL.net] Redneck Thanksgiving

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From: "The Good, Clean Funnies List" <gcfl-info at gcfl.net>

Redneck Thanksgiving

/* Happy Thanksgiving! */

You might be a redneck if ....

You've ever had Thanksgiving dinner on a ping-pong table.
I thought that's what pointy-headed northern college-town libruls do.

Thanksgiving dinner is squirrel and dumplings.
Last I heard, in northern Mississippi, its squirrel dumplings. No "and"
to it.
There's a Democratic congressman in those parts who loves them.

You've ever re-used a paper plate.
Everybody does that.

You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say Cool
Whip on the side.

You've ever used your ironing board as a buffet table.
That's a Hispanic immigrant custom.

Your turkey platter is an old hub cap.

Your best dishes have Dixie printed on them.
That just means your daddy used to work for a company that made
paper cups, before the jobs were outsourced to China.

Your stuffing's secret ingredient comes from the bait shop.
My Tennessee cousins wouldn't eat that.

Your only condiment on the dining room table is ketchup.
That's MY dining room table in Milwaukee!

Side dishes include beef jerky and Moon Pies.
That stuff's so chic it's expensive. Rednecks can't afford it any more.

You have to go outside to get something out of the 'fridge.
That's how anvironmetalist's do it, to save energy or something.

The directions to your house include "turn off the paved
road." Up north, that's the way to an upscale housing development.

You consider pork and beans to be a gourmet food.
Dummies. Don't they know the largest casualty count in the Civil War was
caused by Armour's pork and beans?

You have an Elvis Jell-o mold.
Half the old white ladies in Minnesota have those.

Your secret family recipe is illegal.
Not if its under 400 gallons a year, and served at home.

You serve Vienna sausage as an appetizer.
My Tennessee cousins wouldn't eat that either. Its what northern
capitalists
think is good enough for hillbillies.
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