[GCFL-discuss] Fwd: FW: History

[Discussion of the Good, Clean Funnies List]

Eh, I just enjoy a good laugh... I hate political parties, If I haven't made
that clear yet. To vote for a party w/out waiver is to give up your most
essential right. People need to be out there voting for what they believe in
fully researching their parties... I'm shutting up. I jumped on my soap box
and didn't mean to.
~Lance

On Wed, Jan 14, 2009 at 9:48 PM, Discussion of the Good, Clean Funnies List
<gcfl-discuss at gcfl.net> wrote:

>  Lance, you disappoint me young man.
>
> Liberals may be dumb and spineless enough to forward that History 101, but
> I'm not.
>
> It was off to a good start, the part about the wheel and beer, then it got
> tangled up in politics and lost all its humor.
>
> Jokes lose their punch when the reader has to stop and scratch their head
> and ask "what?" That unfortunate point emerged early:
>
> The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer
> and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the
> beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the
> catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
>
> 1. Liberals, and
> 2. Conservatives.
>
> Liberals like beer and conservatives like wheels? Vice versa? There is a
> sad disconnect.
>
> But I tried to find myself in the tangled web of characteristics that
> followed.
>
> I don't track and kill animals, but I do like barbecue. On the other hand,
> nobody who eats barbecue tracks and kills much of their meat anymore. A
> vegetarian told me every meateater should do so. She thought it would make
> us all vegetarians. She may be right. A friend of mine's late grandmother
> used to say that the first step to making fried chicken is "all in the
> wrist."
>
> I can do a little sewing, but not very well. I don't do hair dressing,
> except I used to cut my own with a scissors, but nobody called that dressed.
> I gave it up around the time I was invited to my friend's college
> graduation. She's a woman, low on testosterone, so must not be a liberal,
> but wanted me to look good at her graduation.
>
> I hate cats and group therapy, prefer hugs one at a time, and I vote
> Democratic because the Republicans aren't smart enough to come up with
> anything better.
>
> (Whoever wrote this is an atheist, since any Bible-believing Christian
> would know that God created women at the beginning, they didn't evolve from
> men later.)
>
> The largest and most powerful animal on earth is the whale, which liberals
> seem to have an affinity for, I'm not sure why.
>
> I don't like any kind of beer, imported or domestic, nor French wines
> neither, I'm allergic to limes (love fresh squeezed lemonade though), don't
> eat no fish raw ever, definitely like my beef and burgers well done, once
> tried to fry tofu to a crisp but it all melted away... and I believe when
> Bill Clinton talked about ending welfare as we know it, he should have said
> end social work as we know it.
>
> My beloved woman makes three times the money I do, but I am learning that
> she blows it all without quite knowing where it went, so if we marry, she'll
> be counting on my hard-earned savings to cover the essentials. Maybe she is
> a liberal after all.
>
> OK, now I'm going to make a political statement: conservatives don't
> produce. Conservatives hire real workers to do the real work of production,
> then skim off the profits, tell their workers "vote like I tell you or my
> taxes will go up," invest in worthless derivatives, and then ask for
> billions of dollars from those who did all the work and paid all the taxes
> because "we're too big to fail." That's why so many big-game hunters, rodeo
> cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police
> officers, corporate executives, athletes, members of the military, airline
> pilots are getting laid off, cut back, and deprived of whatever they were
> promised they would get if they worked hard and put their life on the line,
> etc.
>
> Siarlys
>
>
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