[GCFL-discuss] Fw: How to Get Along with Men

Thu Jul 9 18:14:13 CDT 2009

READ FORWARDED MESSAGE BELOW. THEN REFERENCE MY PERSONAL CAVEATS LISTED
HERE.

Siarlys

Many funny and appropriate (to my life) items in here.

All generalizations are wrong, including this one.

My caveats as a non-conforming male include:

I am happy to offer sympathy -- but will solve problems if they are
clearly stated.

I always tell her she's not fat, and I mean it. Think of the standards of
beauty in 17th century France, or in Samoa to this day.

She watches all the TV, I don't turn it on once a month, except to watch
a DVD I selected.

Christopher Columbus didn't have a clue where he was going, where he got
to, or where he'd been. He accidentally tripped over America trying to
get to Asia, and died thinking he had succeeded. On the other hand, Moses
wandered in the desert for 40 years because, then as now, men don't want
to ask for directions.

I am not prepared to discuss topics such as baseball and motor sports. I
am prepared to discuss topics such as the Complete History of the World,
and why legally, having discretion does NOT mean a person endowed with
authority can do anything they want.

I must have been 30 before I even heard that men and women had some kind
of arcane disputes over the toilet seat. I still can't believe it is a
topic of conversation.

The rest fit very well. Thanks for sending them.

Siarlys

----- Forwarded Message -----

 The Man Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down 

Finally, the guys' side of the story.
( We must admit, it's pretty good.) 
We always hear 'the rules'
>From the female side 

Now here are the rules from the male side. 

These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered '1' 
ON PURPOSE! 
1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. 
Let us be clear on this one: 
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1.. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days. 

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one 

1. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done. 
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like
nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
Really. 

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as baseball or motor sports. 

1. You have enough clothes..

1 .. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.... . 

Pass this to as many women as you can - 
                      to give them a bigger laugh

____________________________________________________________
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