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Everything's big in Texas! Date: Sent Wednesday, June 26, 2002 Category: None

Rating: 3.98/5 (126 votes) Click a button to cast your vote

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Note from Brandon: Hi! First I want to say thank you for GCFL. I love receiving the jokes, and I so appreciate the effort to fight the trend towards obscene and profane humor. Thank you!! =) This is a joke I have known since I was in elementary school, feel free to change or edit as you see fit. It has a slight similarity to another GCFL joke called "Bigger in Texas", but it has a totally different punch line. Hope you can use it!
Cheers!
~Brandon Conroy

A man was on a business trip to the great state of Texas. Upon arriving at the airport, he happened to walk by one of the tallest men he'd ever seen. When he remarked about this to his taxi driver, the driver responded "Yessir, everything's big in Texas!"

Later that day, after settling into his hotel room, the man went down to the bar for dinner. The bartender asked if he'd like to start off with a beverage. "I'll have a beer," said the man, and the bartender nodded. Half a minute later, the bartender returned carrying a huge 5-gallon beer mug, filled to the brim, and plunked it down in front of the astonished business man.

"All I asked for was a beer!! You expect me to drink all that?!" cried the man.

The bartender replied, "Well-sir, you ordered a beer and that's just what I brought. I guess somebody shoulda warned ya' that everything's big in Texas!"

Well the man ordered the steak for dinner, and when it came, he received yet another shock. The steak was gargantuan -- a 64 oz. T-bone! When the bartender saw the shocked and somewhat frightened look on the man's face, he simply shrugged and said "Everything's big in Texas!"

Finally the man had consumed as much of the beer and steak as he could, and asked the bartender to direct him to the nearest restroom. The bartender said "Down the hall and to the right," but since the man had just drank a gallon or two of beer, he was a bit tipsy and accidentally went down the hall and to the LEFT, where the hotel's swimming pool was located. A moment later the bartender heard a bunch of splashing and hollering so he came running to see what was the matter. Sure enough the man had fallen right into the pool and was thrashing and hollering as if the water were battery acid. Mystified, the bartender yelled "You alright mister? You need help?"

The man simply screamed, "JUST DON'T FLUSH THIS THING!!!"

Received from Brandon Conroy (GCFL.net member).