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and click the subscribe button! It is that easy! | Good, Clean Funny of the Day | Wednesday, February 11, 2026 |
I Cannot Go to School Today   
Date: Sent Wednesday, February 11, 2026
Category: None | Rating: 2.60/5 (249 votes)
Click a button to cast your vote
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I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash, and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I'm going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I've counted sixteen chicken pox.
And there's one more ... that's 17!
And don't you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut, my eyes are blue --
It might be Instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke
I'm sure that my left leg is broke.
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button's caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle's sprained,
My 'pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb,
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my spine is weak.
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow's bent, my spine's not straight.
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is --
WHAT?
What's that? What's that you say?
School is out for summer and
Today is ... Saturday?
G'bye, I'm going out to play!
/* GCFL found that this was written by Shel Silverstein. */
Received from Doc's Daily Chuckle.
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