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Tuesday, April 8, 2025 |
Warmups for that Ultimate Darwin Award  
Date: Sent Friday, July 17, 1998
Category: None | Rating: 4.37/5 (166 votes)
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I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she
caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into
the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to
kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter in to the ER right away.
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the field decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of
the plant and home. When they took it for a float on the Stilliguamish River, they were quite surprised by a Coast Guard helicopter homing in on the
emergency locator that is activated when the raft is inflated. They are no longer employed there.
I worked for a while at a Wal-Mart store, selling sporting goods. As an employee of Wal-Mart you are sometimes required to make store-wide pages,
e.g.,"I have a customer in hardware who needs assistance at the paint counter." One night a tentative female voice came over the intercom system with
the (I kid you not) following message: "I have a customer by the balls in toys who needs assistance."
A police officer had a perfect hiding place for watching for speeders. But one day, everyone was under the speed limit, the officer found the
problem: a 10 year old boy was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said "RADAR TRAP AHEAD." A little more
investigative work led the officer to the boy's accomplice, another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucket
at his feet, full of change.
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