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Sunday, November 24, 2024 |
Parenthood  
Date: Sent Friday, October 8, 2004
Category: None | Rating: 4.01/5 (115 votes)
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** If it was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!
** Shouting to make your children obey is like using the horn to steer your car, and you get about the same results.
** The smartest advice on raising children is to enjoy them while they are still on your side.
** Avenge yourself ~~~ live long enough to be a problem to your children.
** The best way to keep kids at home is to give it a loving atmosphere ~~ and hide the keys to the car.
** Parents: People who bear infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.
** The joy of motherhood: What a woman experiences when all the children are finally in bed.
** Life's golden age is when the kids are too old to need babysitters and too young to borrow the family car.
** Any child can tell you that the sole purpose of a middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble.
** Grandparents are similar to a piece of string ~ handy to have around and easily wrapped around the fingers of grandchildren.
** There are three ways to get something done: Do it yourself, hire someone to do it, or forbid your children to do it.
** Adolescence is the age when children try to bring up their parents.
** Cleaning your house while your kids are at home is like trying to shovel the driveway during a snowstorm.
** Oh, to be only half as wonderful as my child thought I was when he was small, and half as stupid as my teenager now thinks I am.
** There are only two things a child will share willingly: communicable diseases and his mother's age.
** Adolescence is the age at which children stop asking questions because they know all the answers.
** An alarm clock is a device for awakening people who don't have small children.
Received from Andychaps The Funnies.
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