GCFL.net: Good, Clean Funnies List
Quick Search
 Welcome
 How To Help Us
>View Funnies
 Archive Index
 Search Funnies
 Mailing List
 Site Map
 News
 FAQ
 Contact Us
 Reprints

Receive the Daily Funny Email



View Funnies Sunday, June 13, 2021

Previous Funny
Previous
Funny
Email to a Friend
Email to
a Friend
Archive Index
Archive
Index
Go to Random Funny
Random
Funny
Printer friendly
Printer
friendly
Next Funny
Next
Funny

New Element Discovered
Date: Sent Monday, October 26, 1998
Category: None
Rating: 2.96/5 (81 votes)
Click a button to cast your vote
012345

MAJOR U.S. RESEARCH UNIVERSITY DISCOVERS NEW ELEMENT!!

The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered by investigators at a major U.S. research university. The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons and thus has an atomic number of 0. However, it does have 1 neutron, 125 assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant vice neutrons. This gives it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles called morons.

Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be detected chemically as it impedes every reaction it comes in contact with. According to the discoverers, a minute amount of Administratium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would have normally occurred in less than one second. Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately three years, at which time it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases after each reorganization.

Research at other laboratories indicates that Administratium occurs naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points such as government agencies, large corporations, and universities. If can usually be found in the newest, best appointed, and best maintained buildings.

Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any level of concentration and can easily destroy any productive reaction where it is allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how Administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but results to date are not promising.

Received from the Thought Of The Day mailing list.


© Copyright 1996-2021, GCFL.net.
Make a donation with PayPal