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Crime Doesn't Pay Date: Sent Monday, December 2, 2024 Category: None

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It's enough to make Al Capone spin in his grave. For every criminal mastermind, there's a jail full of bumblers who practically handcuffed themselves. Here's a lineup of crooks who prove this point.

TIMOTHY BAKER was back in jail in Waco, Texas, hours after he had escaped while being held for aggravated robbery. His getaway had taken him to Baylor University, where he broke into a building in order to find a change of clothes from his orange prison suit. The building was the Finde Arts Center, where Baker raided a costume closet. He apparently thought he would be inconspicuous if he changed into a 19th-century green wool outfit (with rubber galoshes) that made him look like a "leprechaun," according to the Waco sheriff. Baker was spotted on the street and rearrested. Said the chairman of the theater department, "He just really stood out."

ON FATHER'S DAY, 10-year-old Brian Kline was playing with his father's old handcuffs (Dad used to be a security agent) and lovingly cuffed himself to William Kline, Jr., 33. It was a cute little joke, until they couldn't find the key. William called the local police in Des Moines, Iowa, and they all had a good laugh as the cops removed the cuffs. Then, as is routine, police ran Kline through their data base and discovered two outstanding arrest warrants. Minutes later the police were back at Kline's home, where they recuffed him with thier own handcuffs.

GARY LEE OWENS, 42, was arrested on drug charges in Stilwell, Kansas, even though police weren't looking for drugs when they knocked on his door. The police had received a tip that two fugitives were hiding at the address, and since Owens knew nothing about that, he matter-of-factly gave them permission to search the house. He then added the restriction "everywhere but the garage." The police naturally decided that this comment was worth a search warrant, and later found the remains of a suspected methamphetamine lab.

THE CRIMINAL WHO is captured because his tracks lead away from a crime scene is nothing new. However, Albert Jackson Dowdy, 22, took incompetence to a new level. According to police in Grants Pass, Oregon, he tried to break into a home by smashing a glass door with a paint can, but the can broke open. Paint splattered all over Dowdy's clothes and shoes, yet he traipsed through the house nonetheless, leaving stains everywhere. He made off with two cans of tuna and a box of oatmeal. Before long police tracked Dowdy to a nearby motel- where he appeared at the door still wearing his paint-smeared clothes.

IN TULSA, OKLAHOM, suspected shoplifter Jacob Wise, 18, had cleverly removed security tags from clothes he was allegedly stealing from a store. But the alarm went off anyway as Wise strolled through the exit door. It seems he had merely put the removed security tags in his pocket.

REMEMBER THAT CRIME DOESN'T PAY

Received from Pastor Tim.