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Wednesday, September 10, 2025 |
Off the Wire   
Date: Sent Wednesday, February 10, 1999
Category: None | Rating: 3.24/5 (98 votes)
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News We Just Couldn't Pass Up
A study published in New Scientist magazine has confirmed what common sense would dictate -- when porcupines mate, they do it very carefully.
Tom Kroon won't have to worry about finding parking space near his house in Grand Rapids, Mich. Kroon, 64, refused to be evicted from the only home
he has ever known, so city officials will build a public parking lot around it.
Virginia Beach, Va., bank tellers handed over the loot when a robber demanded cash. They also slipped in an explosive dye pack that burns at about
400 degrees. The crook stuffed the loot down the front of his pants and was out the door before he realized something was wrong.
A Milwaukee man was robbed at gunpoint on a golf course and was glad all the thieves took was his cash. "I was really afraid they were going to steal
my golf clubs," he said. He played the course again the next day.
Compiled by Ivan Weiss, Seattle Times, July 19, 1997
An Australian prisoner who wrote a "happy anniversary card" for Port Arthur mass-murderer Martin Bryant was acquitted of using the postal service to
send offensive material.
A Brazilian woman faces up to 15 years in jail for kidnapping the mother of a self-described real-estate agent who allegedly swindled her in a
deal.
A motorist led officers on a freeway chase until his sport-utility vehicle apparently ran out of gas, but the pursuit didn't end there. The man jumped
out of the vehicle and began pushing it. California Highway Patrol officers waited until he tired and then arrested him.
Compiled by Ivan Weiss, Seattle Times, December 20, 1997
A Warren, R.I., man found what he thought was a novelty cigarette lighter in the shape of a miniature handgun. When he pulled the trigger to produce
a flame, the "lighter" fired a .22-caliber bullet. No one was hurt.
A Columbus, Ohio, woman who mowed her lawn topless was convicted of disorderly conduct and fined $40. The judge said it was because she had been
drinking.
Connecticut lottery devotees did a double take when the same winning numbers, 8-2-8, were drawn two days in a row.
Northbridge, Mass., police caught a former doughnut-shop employee who robbed the place after he left a trail of coins leading to his apartment.
Hudson the dog, who lives in London, saved the life of his arch-rival, Zoe the cat, by barking until their owner rescued Zoe from a spinning clothes
dryer.
Compiled by Ivan Weiss, The Seattle Times, January 31, 1998
A rubber cow-pie prop from "The Beverly Hillbillies" was auctioned off recently by Universal Studios as part of an on-line charity fund-raiser.
Fishermen in Russia's Far East have been buying up Chinese-made Barbie dolls and using their golden hair as bait.
A New York parolee turned the tables on his parole officer and had him arrested for soliciting a $10,000 bribe.
A lawmaker seeking re-election to the Danish Parliament has said the country's 11 million pigs should be given toys to play with.
An Australian cricket player, desperate for some plain food after two weeks in India, called home for an emergency shipment of canned baked beans and
spaghetti.
A Newport News, Va., man was sentenced to five months in jail on five counts of being a Peeping Tom after his lip prints matched ones left on a
window.
A Saegertown, Pa., man who said he was tired of looking at two telephone service boxes at the edge of his property ripped them up with a tractor,
state police said. He could not be reached for comment. His phone is no longer in service.
Compiled by Ivan Weiss, The Seattle Times, March 7, 1998
Angry at the quality of their dinner after a grueling day on duty, about 200 Sri Lankan policemen fired shots into the air and set fire to their
food.
Victoria, B.C., authorities have taken a newborn baby from its mother because of a health threat at home -- overexposure to detergent.
Hong Kong's Buddhist clergy have warned the faithful that phony monks who have wives and smoke cigarettes are preying on the faithful at
funerals.
Creve Coeur, Ill., police say Jim Roy should pay a $50 fine for leaving litter in yards around town. His offense? Delivering newspapers.
Compiled by Ivan Weiss, The Seattle Times, March 14, 1998
American homeowners are heading into Canada to sneak around U.S. regulations and pick up high-capacity toilets. The toilets are available duty-free
in Canada because of the North American Free Trade Agreement.
A bridegroom in Hapur, India, was so drunk just before his wedding that his wife-to-be called the police and then promptly married someone else, an
Indian newspaper reported.
When Mary Lou Conton lost 300 pounds following stomach-reduction surgery, doctors at the New England Medical Center wanted to take her picture for a
promotional brochure touting their weight-loss program. She was thrilled -- until a doctor stuck a rubber pig nose on her face and laughed while a
photographer snapped away. Now she's suing.
Compiled by Ivan Weiss, The Seattle Times, July 11, 1998
Turns out a suspicious plant growing in a crack in the steps outside New Orleans' criminal court was indeed just a weed. The crime lab report: "One
dried plant with green leaves ... NEGATIVE for violation drugs."
Two Rottweilers that were recently defended by Johnnie Cochran against a barking complaint may need the whole "Dream Team" to get out of their latest
mess. Sheeba and Sampson, owned by the mother of basketball star Ray Allen, was accused of attacking and perhaps killing a neighbor's cat in West
Hanford, Conn.
Viagra sauce has been dropped from a restaurant menu in eastern France after a visit from government inspectors. Chef Jean-Louis Galland had been
serving beef piccata in Viagra sauce. "I wanted to make my customers happy, particularly grandpas and their wives," he said.
Compiled by Laura Gordon, The Seattle Times, August 29, 1998
Received from Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird List. (http://hostigos.otherwhen.com/mailing_lists.html)
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