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Friday, April 11, 2025 |
EXTRA: This funny is in the 'extra' queue which means it is clean, but not really good enough to be mailed out. Of course, it could be removed or shuffled to another queue at any time. Your votes help us decide if a funny should be mailed out (or not). Please give your opinion by voting. Microsoft Acquires Microsoft Acquires   
Date: No date scheduled
Category: None | Rating: 1.51/5 (85 votes)
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REDMOND WASHINGTON (AP) -- MICROSOFT announced that it, like thousands of computer users everywhere, was tired of spoofs of Microsoft Acquires. Users
of the Internet have been bombarded in recent months by spoof announcements of "Microsoft Acquires." Recent announcements have included Microsoft
acquiring Christmas, the year 1995, and the Vatican. Therefore, Microsoft spokesmen announced today that they had acquired the rights to all further
"Microsoft Acquires" announcements. Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates said, during a brief appearance at the announcement, "Every time someone puts one of
those darn 'Microsoft Announces' spoofs on the net, 300 people forward it to me. This should put a stop to that. And really, they're not that funny.
They're just not."
Industry analysts had mixed reviews. One analyst Martin Sierpinsky, believed that the effect of this latest announcement would be minimal. "Spoof
writers will simply switch to another topic, such as 'IBM lays off elves' or something." But another industry analyst, who spoke on condition of
anonymity, said "This spells the end of competition in humor about Microsoft. Microsoft will now control the entire Microsoft Humor niche. They
probably see this as a foothold into the Computer Humor market. I think they will next attempt to acquire exclusive rights to the Hackers Dictionary."
David Wiborg said "I don't think it's that significant. I think the 'Microsoft Acquires' thing was just a fad. In fact, a recent Gallop poll of
'Rec.humor.funny' readers ranked 'Microsoft Acquires' jokes above Mouse Balls, but below Iraqi Driver's Ed."
Microsoft stock closed up 3/8 of a point yesterday on heavy trading.
Received from Thomas Ellsworth.
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