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Saturday, May 17, 2025 |
Sad News & Computer Confusion   
Date: Sent Friday, April 30, 1999
Category: None | Rating: 3.93/5 (119 votes)
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/* This is pretty sad news. I really was not expecting to hear this today. */
I don't usually pass on news like this because I know how busy you are. Sometimes we have to pause and truly remember what life is about. So I will
pass on this sad, sad news..
There was a great loss today in the entertainment world. The man who wrote the song "Hokey Pokey" died. What was really horrible is that they had
trouble keeping the body in the casket. They'd put his left leg in and...well, you know the rest.
Received from NEIL C FIRTH.
-=+=-
/* If you didn't get that last one, it's OK... It was stupid anyway! Have a great weekend!!! */
A woman called the Cannon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asker her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman then
responded, "NO, my desk is next to the door. But that's a good point... The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his is
working just fine."
Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type
the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech Support: "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "What do you mean?"
Tech Support: "'P' on you keyboard, Bob."
Customer: "I'm not going to do that!"
Overheard in a computer shop:
Customer: "I'd like a mouse mat, please."
Salesperson: "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."
Customer: "But will they be compatible with my computer?"
I once received a fax with a note on the bottom to fax the document back to the sender when I was finished with it, because he needed to keep it.
Customer: "Can you copy the Internet for me onto this diskette?"
I work for a local ISP. Frequently we receive phone calls that go something like this:
Customer: "Hi... Is this the Internet?"
Some people pay for their online services with check made payable to "The Internet".
Customer: "So, that will get me connected to the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Yeah."
Customer: "And that's the latest version of the Internet, right?"
Tech Support: "Uhh... uh... uh...yeah."
Tech Support: "All right. Now double-click on the File Manager icon."
Customer: "That's why I hate this Windows - because of the icons. I'm a Protestant, and I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well, that's just an industry term sir. I don't believe it was meant to..."
Customer: "I don't care about any 'Industry Terms.' I don't believe in icons."
Tech Support: "Well... why don't you click on the 'little picture' of a file cabinet.. is 'little picture' OK?"
Customer: [Click]
Customer: "My computer crashed!"
Tech Support: "It crashed?"
Customer: "Yeah, it won't let me play my game..."
Tech Support: "All right then, hit Control-Alt-Delete to reboot it."
Customer: "No, it didn't crash - it crashed!"
Tech Support: "Huh?"
Customer: "I crashed my game. That's what I said before! I crashed the spaceship, and now it doesn't work."
Tech Support: "Click on 'File', then 'New Game'."
Customer: [pause] "Wow! How'd you learn how to do that?"
Received from Monica Subjak.
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