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Assorted Funnies & Riddle Answer Date: Sent Tuesday, September 28, 1999 Category: None

Rating: 3.85/5 (127 votes) Click a button to cast your vote

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As the Lone Ranger and Tonto were riding along towards the north, they spotted a war party of about 50 Apaches coming at them. They turned south, but another war party appeared. They turned east and met another party of 100 braves. They turned west as their last remaining hope and saw a party of 500.

The Lone Ranger turned to his friend and said, "Well, Tonto, this is the end, there's not much we can do." Tonto looked back at the Lone Ranger. "What you mean WE, white man?"

-=+=-

Biff: What's the name of your ranch?
Cliff: The ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ Ranch
Biff: How many head of cattle do you have?
Cliff: Not many
Biff: How come?
Cliff: Not many survive the branding.

-=+=-

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait.'

Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

Received from Bill's Punch Line.

-=+=-

What one word does the following describe:

It's greater than God,
More evil than the devil,
Rich people need it,
Poor people have it,
And if you eat it, you will die.

Answer: "Nothing."