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A Couple of Groaners Date: Sent Wednesday, December 8, 1999 Category: None

Rating: 3.59/5 (117 votes) Click a button to cast your vote

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A bill collector knocked on the door of a country debtor. "Is Fred home?" he asked the woman who answered the door. "Sorry," the woman replied. "Fred's gone for cotton."

The next day the collector tried again. "Is Fred here today?" "No, sir," she said, "I'm afraid Fred has gone for cotton."

When he returned the third day he humphed, "I suppose Fred is gone for cotton again,?" "No," the woman answered solemnly, "Fred died yesterday."

Suspicious that he was being avoided, the collector decided to wait a week and investigate the cemetery himself. But sure enough, there was poor Fred's tombstone, with this inscription: ...

"Gone, But Not for Cotton."

Received from Groaners mailing list.

-=+=-

A monastery in the English countryside had fallen on hard times, and decided to establish a business to defray their expenses, such as a bakery or winery. Being English, however, they decided to open a fish-and-chips restaurant. The establishment soon became very popular, attracting people from all over. One city fellow, thinking himself clever, asked one of the brothers standing nearby, "I suppose you're the 'fish friar'?"

"No", answered the brother levelly, "I'm the 'chip monk'".

Received from Coakleym.