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Global Warming Date: Sent Monday, April 24, 2000 Category: None

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GLOBAL WARMING FOUND AT EQUATOR

Macapa -- New evidence of global warming has been found in this Brazilian city at the mouth of the Amazon River.

Dr. Bruno Clinckerdinck, Professor of Climatology and Auto Repair at Gomer State University, said evidence of warming is "incontrovertible".

"There's lots of palm trees and stuff, plus it's always hot and humid here." Prof. Clinckerdinck, head of an international team of scientists, has been in Macapa for a month, studying the phenomena caused by global warming.

"We walk up and down the beach all day, taking air and water samples. Then we sit under beach umbrellas and analyze the results. I'm telling you, it's frightening."

The professor then excused himself, mumbling something about "mai tais" and "nap".

Copyright 2000 Cruddy Enterprises
Blithering Idiot (http://207.106.16.77/idiot004.htm)

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SCIENTISTS RETRACT GLOBAL WARMING REPORT IN LIGHT OF COLD FRONT

A report validating global warming by a National Academy of Sciences panel retracted their findings only a few days after it was issued in light of the current cold front blanketing much of the country. "Never mind," said one of the researchers who worked on the study. A skeptic of the report, Professor Marvin Lynch of the University of Southern North Carolina School of Atmospheric and Animal Husbandry Sciences, felt vindicated. "I told them to wait just a few more days before concluding their report because it was going to get colder than Hillary Clinton on her wedding anniversary, but they went ahead and rushed it out," he said. The 11 members of the panel were unavailable for further comment on the report. "They're out buying winter clothing," said an administrative assistant at the academy offices.

Breaking News Beyond Repair (http://bobsfridge.com/skew.htm)

Received from The McHaw List (http://www.onelist.com/community/McHawList)