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UNASSIGNED: This funny is in the 'unassigned' queue which means it has been picked to be mailed out to the mailing list, but has not been assigned a date yet. It may or may not have been checked by the editors, so don't be surprised if you find a grammar error or two. Of course, it could be removed or shuffled to another queue at any time. Your votes help us decide if a funny should be mailed out (or not). Please give your opinion by voting.

The Real Meaning behind Abbreviations in Personal Ads Date: No date scheduled Category: None

Rating: 2.93/5 (46 votes) Click a button to cast your vote

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Ads from Women:

40-ish........................ 48
Athletic...................... Flat-chested
Average looking........ Ugly
Beautiful.................... Pathological liar
Contagious Smile...... Bring your penicillin
Educated.................. College dropout
Emotionally Secure... Medicated
Feminist.................... Fat
Free spirit................. Substance user
Fun........................... Annoying
Gentle...................... Comatose
Good Listener.......... Borderline Autistic
New-Age................. All body hair, all the time
Open-minded.......... Desperate
Outgoing................. Loud
Passionate.............. Loud
Poet........................ Depressive Schzophrenic
Professional............ Real Witch
Redhead................. Shops the Clairol section
Reubenesque......... Grossly Fat
Romantic................. Looks better by candle light
Voluptuous............. Very Fat
Weight proportional to height........Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate..... One step away from stalking
Widow.................... Nagged first husband to death
Young at heart....... Toothless crone

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the Male Side of the List:

40-ish.................... 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic.................. Sits on the couch and watches ESPN
Average looking.... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated............... Will always treat you like an idiot
Fun........................ Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking......... Arrogant
Honest.................. Pathological Liar
Huggable.............. Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Like to cuddle....... Insecure, overly dependent
Mature.................. Until you get to know him
Physically fit.......... I spend a lot of time in front of mirror admiring myself
Poet..................... Has written on a bathroom stall
Spiritual............... Once went to church with his grandmother on Easter Sunday
Stable.................. Occasional stalker, but never arrested
Thoughtful........... Says "Please" when demanding a beer

Well, there you have it: truth in advertising!

Received from FranCMT2.