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News Bulletin Date: Sent Thursday, May 3, 2012 Category: None

Rating: 2.29/5 (174 votes) Click a button to cast your vote

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An opinion poll was taken recently among citizens in local high-rise retirement condos. The questions were direct and simple. The poll produced few surprises. The questions and answers follow...

What's the most important right guaranteed us by the Constitution?
The senior citizen discount.

What is the greatest invention of the century?
The plastic in my new knees, hips, and heart valve.

What is the surest sign society is in decline?
Those neighbors carousing after 8 PM.

What is your favorite dinner entree?
Early birds.

Do you have trouble eating steak or corn on the cob?
Only when I misplace my teeth.

What's the cheapest way to lower winter heating bills?
Hot flashes.

What are your most bothersome medical problems?
Those not covered by Medicare.

What's the best substitute for a hard drug trip?
Bending down, then standing up real fast.

What are the hardest-to-find fashion accessories?
White shoes and belts.

Received from Bob Neff.