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Blessed 2 of 2 Date: Sent Wednesday, July 23, 2014 Category: None

Rating: 1.54/5 (123 votes) Click a button to cast your vote

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** Blessed art those who pray in King James English, for they shall surely speaketh in clarity.

** Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall always have a job.

** Blessed are those who resist temptation at the smorgasbord, for they shall be buffeted.

** Blessed are those who listen intently during sermons, for their understanding is great.

** Blessed are those who can give without remembering, for they shall not be forgotten.

** Blessed are those who donate organs, for they are giving the gift of life.

** Blessed are those who receive donated organs, for they have restored health.

** Blessed are those who shop, for they shall be spent.

** Blessed are those who drill, for they shall not be bored.

** Blessed are bald men, for they shall not have toupee for hair cuts.

** Blessed are those who are magnets, for they shall find each other attractive.

** Blessed are those who have allergies, for they shall be scratched.

** Blessed are the dermatologists, for they shall not be rash.

** Blessed are the neurologists, for they shall have a lot of nerve.

** Blessed are the obstetricians, for their labors shall not be in vain.

** Blessed are the ophthalmologists, for they shall not be shortsighted.

** Blessed are the pediatricians, for they shall have many children.

** Blessed are the psychiatrists, for they shall be couched.

** Blessed are the plastic surgeons, for they shall put a whole new face on things.

** Blessed are the podiatrists, for they shalt have a leg to stand on.

** Blessed are the cardiologists, for they shall have a lot of heart.

** Blessed are the optometrists, for they shall see you coming.

** Blessed are the taxidermists, for they shall know their stuff.

** Blessed are those who work in muffler shops, for they shall hear you coming.

** Blessed are those who work in bowling alleys, for they shall hear a pin drop.

** Blessed are those who make pizzas, for they shall have lots of dough.

** Blessed are the hard of hearing, for they shall miss all the small talk.

** Blessed are those who cook, for they shall be at home on the range.

** Blessed are those who fail, for they shall be a good example for others not to follow.

** Blessed are those who are a little cracked, for the Redeeming Light pours through them.

** Blessed are those who swallow bitter words so they won't have to eat them later.

** Blessed are the prophets, for the blind shall see through their eyes.

** Blessed are those who are open to commitment, for they shall be fulfilled.

** Blessed are those who are soft hearted, for they shall be comfortable!

** Blessed are they that go in circles, for they shall be called wheels.

** Blessed are those who are short, for they shall stand on ladders!

** Blessed are the brief, for they shall have lower phone bills.

** Blessed are those who sing in the choir, for they shall be noted.

** Blessed are those who do things anonymously, for they shall be found out.

** Blessed are the flexible, for they shall not be bent out of shape.

** Blessed are those who build ladders, for they shall give others a step up.

** Blessed are the leaders who have not sought the high place, but who have been drafted into service because of their ability and willingness to serve.

** Blessed are people who know where they are going, for they shall not make U-turns.

** Blessed are the dictators, for they shall keep stenographers employed.

** Blessed are those who spend time listening to an elder's tales of long ago, for they shall inherit pearls of wisdom.

** Blessed are those who lead by example, for they shall be mocked.

** Blessed are the leaders who travel on interstate highways, for they shall follow road signs.

** Blessed are those who have their heads in the clouds, for they shall be able to predict the weather.

** Blessed are those who ride bicycles, for they shall have balance.

** Blessed is the chicken that crossed the road, for she shall be poultry in motion.

** Blessed are those who sing, for they shall find the key.

Received from Andy Chaps The Funnies.