View Funnies	Thursday, April 18, 2024

Previous Funny

Email to a Friend

Archive Index

Random Funny

Printer friendly

Next Funny

Observations on Growing Older Date: Sent Friday, December 29, 2017 Category: None

Rating: 3.66/5 (61 votes) Click a button to cast your vote

0 1 2 3 4 5

TODAY IS THE OLDEST YOU'VE EVER BEEN, YET THE YOUNGEST YOU'LL EVER BE, SO ENJOY THIS DAY WHILE IT LASTS.

~Your kids are becoming you...and you don't like them...but your grandchildren are perfect!

~Going out is good.. Coming home is better!

~When people say you look "Great"... they add "for your age!"

~When you needed the discount, you paid full price. Now you get discounts on everything... movies, hotels, flights, but you're too tired to use them.

~You forget names .... but it's OK because other people forgot they even knew you!!!

~The 5 pounds you wanted to lose is now 15 and you have a better chance of losing your keys--than the 15 pounds.

~You realize you're never going to be really good at anything .... especially golf.

~Your spouse is counting on you to remember things you don't remember.

~The things you used to care to do, you no longer care to do, but you really do care that, you don't care to do them anymore.

~Your husband sleeps better on a lounge chair with the TV blaring than he does in bed. It's called his "pre-sleep."

~Remember when your mother said, "Wear clean underwear in case you GET in an accident"? Now you bring clean underwear in case you HAVE an accident!

~You used to say, "I hope my kids GET married... Now, "I hope they STAY married!"

~You miss the days when everything worked with just an "ON" and "OFF" switch..

~When GOOGLE, ipod, email, modem were unheard of, and a mouse was something that made you climb on a table.

~You tend to use more 4 letter words ... "what?"..."when?"... ???

~Now that you can afford expensive jewelry, it's now not safe to wear it.

~Your husband has a night out with the guys, but he's home by 9:00 P.M. Next week it will be 8:30 p.m.

~You read 100 pages into a book before you realize you've read it.

~Notice everything they sell in stores is "sleeveless"?!!!

~What used to be freckles are now liver spots.

~Everybody whispers.

~Now that your husband has retired .... you'd give anything if he'd find a job!

~You have 3 sizes of clothes in your closet...2 of which you will never wear.

Received from dadiodio.