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Thursday, March 28, 2024 |
Signs Your Church Has Sold Out to Corporate Sponsors Date: Sent Tuesday, May 29, 2018 Category: None | Rating: 0.75/5 (105 votes) Click a button to cast your vote
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- Nike "swoosh" on the cross
- Communion now sponsored by Welch's Grape Juice
- In Christmas play, Joseph seen with a pack of Luckies
- Greeters all dressed like Mr. Goodwrench
- Personal pew licenses now sold
- Baptismals include dolphin show from Sea World
- Statue of Mary seen holding keys to a Jeep
- Holy water spiked with Diet Pepsi
- The 12 disciples replaced by Disney characters
- Luxury pews with wet bar and satellite TV
- Scripture verses brought to you by Microsoft
- Bulletin has coupon section
- The holy water font has Perrier
- In the restrooms, an attendant hands you a towel
- There is a credit card swiper on the collection plate
- Offering envelopes bearing Visa or Mastercard emblems on them
- Handicap parking sponsored by the Family Medical Group, LLC
- Wednesday night suppers sponsored by KFC
- Sunday morning televised services sponsored by the FOX network
- Church vans traded in for Ford Broncos
- Church bell chimes to the tune of the NBC chimes
- Choir robes with the Lands' End emblem on front
- Sunday bulletins with the CNN logo
- Church flag football team sponsored by the NFL
Received from Mikey's Funnies.
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