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Sunday, November 24, 2024 |
Have You Heard About These Cats?   
Date: Sent Wednesday, April 15, 2020
Category: None | Rating: 2.12/5 (59 votes)
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Have you heard about . . .
- the angry cat? She threw a hissy fit.
- the grumpy cat? He was a sour puss.
- the silent cat? She was the victim of a purr snatcher.
- the psychic cat? He was adopted from the E.S.P.C.A.
- the sensitive cat? She cried over spilt milk.
- the dyslexic cat? He cried, "Woem, weom!"
- the cat who had eight kittens? She was an octopus.
- the cowardly felines? Their names were Scaredy and Fraidy.
- the cat who swallowed a duck? He was a down-in-the-mouth, duck-filled fatty puss.
- the cat who had a hair ball? She couldn't hack it.
- the cat who was a comedian? His name was Groucho Manx.
- the old cat who became forgetful and stopped making any sounds? She developed a purr-senility disorder.
- the golf-playing cat? Even without a catty he consistently scored fur under purr.
- the adolescent cat? She pleaded with her parents, "Why don't you let me lead one of my own lives?"
- the cat who liked to lounge around the stereo? He hoped to catch the tweeter for lunch, unless the woofer got him first.
- the cat who got hurt? She whimpered, "Me ow!"
- the cat who was walking the beach on Christmas Eve? He had Sandy Claws.
- the cat who ate some cheese and then sat by a mouse hole? She waited with baited breath.
- the radioactive cat? He had eighteen half-lives.
- the cat who chased a mouse through the screen door? They both strained themselves.
- the cat who robbed McDonald's and Wendy's? She was a cat burgerlar.
- the cat named Ben Hur? It used to be called Ben, until it had kittens.
- the cat who caught a bird? He enjoyed a breakfast of shredded tweet.
- the fast cat? She put quicksand in her litter box.
- the cat who tried to find out why his humans forgot to place cat litter in his box? He didn't have anything to go on.
- the teeny-tiny cat? She drank only condensed milk.
- the cat who loved to bowl? He was an alley cat.
- the cat who married a tree? They had a catalog.
- the cat who climbed the drapes? She had good claws to do it - and she started from scratch.
- the cat with chutzpah? He was a pushy cat.
- the cat who swallowed a bag of coins? There was money in that kitty.
- the obese, ill-tempered, talkative cat? He was a flabby, crabby, gabby tabby.
- the mother cat looking for her straying kittens? Like a poet, she listened for their mews.
- the feline who impeded the iceman's work? The cat got his tong.
- the baby cat who joined the Red Cross? She wanted to be a first-aid kit.
- the two cats who raced each other to the milk bowl? One beat the other by a lap.
- the kindle of cats named Johann Christian, Wilhelm Friedemann, Johann Sebastian, and Carl Philipp Emanuel? They were all born in a litter
Bachs.
- the man who was afraid of cats? He had catatonia, clawstrophobia, and purranoia.
- the woman who refused to spay and neuter her cats? She was arrested for kitty littering.
- the man who saw a sign at a pet store that said "Free Cats"? So he went in and did.
- the unemployed cat burglar from Nepal? What else can a Katmandu? (By Richard Lederer)
From "A Treasury for CAT LOVERS" by Richard Lederer (C) 2009 Howard Books
Received from Richard Lederer via Stan Kegel.
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