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Ruminations & Ponderances Date: Sent Friday, May 8, 1998 Category: None

Rating: 2.42/5 (115 votes) Click a button to cast your vote

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If I ever got to drive a 'Big Rig' truck, I think it would be fun to sleep in those back bunks, but I bet it would be even more fun to watch the truck careen driverless down the highway. --Kermit Woodall

I think probably the best place to be during an earthquake would be bungie-jumping. --Andrea Judson

After considerable thought, I have concluded that a Ponderance is merely a Rumination dressed up in fancy clothes. --Ed Smith

Did you know that Lou Gehrig died from Lou Gehrig's Disease? What are the odds of that? --Bill Muse

Sometimes when it's raining really really hard outside and I'm inside, I want to find the guy who invented buildings and give him a big kiss. Not a big wet kiss, though, because that would defeat the purpose. --R.M. Weiner

If you know someone as honest as the day is long, it probably wouldn't be a good idea to lend them money in the wintertime. --Matt Diamond

If the walls have ears, why aren't they clearly marked? The last thing I want to do is puncture an eardrum when I'm hanging up a picture. --Paul Paternoster

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. That and the thought of "Showgirls, Part Two." --Jennifer Ritzinger

I think a good idea for a new Broadway musical would be "Jonestown!" featuring the toe-tapping finale, "Don't Drink the Kool-Aid!" --R.M. Weiner

Dissection of the bird doth not reveal the mystery of its flight. But you do get a gander at its last meal. --Doug Johnson

Old habits die hard, but probably not as hard as the nuns who wore them. --Paul Paternoster

I look forward to the invention of faster-than-light travel. What I'm not looking forward to is the long wait in the dark once I arrive at my destination. --Marc Beland

This morning I looked out my kitchen window and saw my dog burying something. I went out there to check it out and found that it was my tongue. I sure hope my poor cat forgives me for blaming her all that time. --Ed Smith

You can tell a lot about a man from the kind of underwear he wears. Like the guy who wears silk boxers on his head -- that guy's probably nuts. --Paul Paternoster

If you get e-mail from something called the "Top Five List", DO NOT READ IT! It will cause your computer to melt! Immediately delete the message and send $5.00 to top5@walrus.com. --Dennis Koho

"Ask not what your country can do for you -- ask what you can do for your country." Nah, I think I rather ask what my country can do for me. Maybe France, too. --Jennifer Ritzinger

All that glitters isn't gold, but if it is attached to a bicuspid and embedded in concrete in front of your seat at the stadium, it most probably is. --Peter T.T. Perez

My momma told me she had eyes in the back of her head. Good thing she didn't also have a mouth there because it would be really hard to floss those back molars. --Paul Paternoster

Copyright (C) 1997 Ziff-Davis Publishing Co. All rights reserved.

Received from Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird (McHaw) List (maiser@mail.otherwhen.com)