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View Funnies Saturday, May 18, 2024

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Oneliners
Date: Sent Thursday, May 9, 2024
Category: None
Rating: 3.36/5 (33 votes)
Click a button to cast your vote
012345

The first Ten Commandments are the hardest.

People who are wrapped up in themselves are overdressed.

An expert is someone called in at the last minute to share the blame.

If you solved the NY Times' Saturday crossword puzzle, you probably cheated.

A word of advice... don't give it.

If we made it illegal, do you think more people would vote?

I am logged in... therefore, I am.

A journey of a hundred miles starts with an argument over how to load the car.

Justice is blind and in some cases... deaf and dumb.

To belittle is to be little.

When fear knocks at the door, and you answer, there will be no one there.

Poverty is a condition with but one advantage, it doesn't take much to improve your lot.

The first rule of tinkering is to save all the parts.

I'm retiring in Mexico. Sunny, affordable and no predatory reverse mortgages.

A pessimist is a man who looks both ways before crossing a one-way street.

Once you pass 40, your "big break" will probably be a bone.

Politics isn't about hunger or taxes or equality... it's about politics.

Management's job is to keep 'em too busy to look for other jobs.

Heredity is what sets the parents of a teenager wondering about each other.

Why are lawyers not sworn to tell the truth like all the witnesses in a jury trial?

Received from Joke du Jour.


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